The Coach's Corner

What I Learned From Not Accomplishing My Goal

 

Lamenting the past is not the same thing as learning from the past.  The first part leads to regret, while the second part leads to impact.

 

3 hrs, 26 minutes, and 2 seconds over 26.2 miles.  A personal best but not what I had trained and hoped for and 1 minute and 2 seconds away from qualifying for the Boston Marathon.  I did not reach my goal and had a mix of feelings.  A feeling of accomplishment to run and finish a marathon while my youngest sons watched and cheered me on.  A wondering of what might have been as my goal of reaching 3:15 looked great through 20.5 miles.  A sense of perspective in knowing this was only my 2nd marathon to run and complete.

 

It hurts when we don’t reach our goals, but there are at least 3 things that were reinforced for me through the process of not reaching my goal:

 

• Learn from the Past – The impact of not reaching your goal can be overshadowed by how you learn from the past.  I ran another marathon a few months prior to the one in Houston and didn’t finish due to muscle cramps.  I asked some critical questions about why I did not finish, sought expert advice on fueling and nutrition from my friend and peak performance colleague Catherine Kruppa, and applied what I learned to finish with a personal best in the Houston Marathon.  We must learn from both trials and triumphs if we ever want to achieve our goals and maximize our potential.

 

• Grow through the process – I know that through my training and the experience I am gaining, I am growing and becoming smarter each day in how to approach an endurance event like the marathon.  In life, our moments must make us wiser, not necessarily more knowledgeable.

 

• Solve the Puzzle of Peak Performance – In the coaching I do with athletes, we look at performance as a puzzle to be solved, not a question with no answers.  For goals that are achievable based on your strengths, possibilities abound if we are willing to ask the right questions, seek the right input and accountability, and be willing to work hard for the results.

 

You may not have a goal of running 26.2 miles, but you may be trying to achieve something this year that is just out of reach based on past performances.  I hope that some of what I have learned can help you reflect and refocus toward achieving your goal and enjoying the journey along the way.

 

What lessons have you learned from not reaching your goal?

Be Humble and Hungry Part 3

 

This blog entry is the third part of a mini-blog series on my theme for this year.  For an introduction to the mini-blog series including some great questions to ask yourself as you develop goals for this year, check out “Be Humble and Hungry Part 1” and “Be Humble and Hungry Part 2.”   My focus for this entry is on the second part of my theme – “Be Hungry.”

 

What does it mean to be hungry?  As I write this, it is 10 am, and my stomach is clamoring for the mid-morning power snack, but I am not talking about nutritional hunger.  In my opinion, the theme of being hungry speaks to the level of desire that you have for something, the determination that you have to pursue it, and the dedication that you have to persevere when setbacks arise.  Let’s look at each of these in more detail:

 

• Desire – To accomplish any goal, you must have a desire that is driven by your passion for that goal.  The goal must be meaningful, and you must possess a burning why behind the goal.  Otherwise, you will lose focus, may meander aimlessly along the way, and possibly give up when things become unclear or too tough.

 

• Determination – While desire provides a starting point, determination paves the path to accomplishment.  A determined person moves forward not backward and always keeps their focus on the finish line.  They work hard and smart enjoying and appreciating the journey as much as reaching the goal.

 

• Dedication – Dedication involves sacrificing for a cause.  Your level of dedication becomes the price you are willing to pay to achieve the goal.  When things get tough and setbacks arise, dedicated people pursue the goal in spite of the obstacles.  They persevere through problems and see possibilities to achieve the desired outcome.

 

I invite you to be hungry this year.  Be content with the success and impact you achieve, but don’t become complacent.  Stay hungry to grow, learn, and achieve again.  Celebrate success, recall past performances, and repeat!

Be Humble and Hungry Part 2

 

A theme can bring energy and passion to your annual goals.  A theme also provides a summary that encapsulates everything that you are going to do and be about in a particular year.  For this year, my theme is “Be Humble and Hungry.”  As I reflected on the past year and considered the opportunities in the new year, this theme resonated with me.  In this blog, I will deal with the first part of the theme – “Be Humble.”  In my next blog, I will cover the second part of the theme – “Be Hungry.”  For an introduction to this mini-blog series including some great questions to ask yourself as you develop goals for this year, check out “Be Humble and Hungry Part 1.”

 

To me, the first part of my theme “Be Humble” is derived from how C. S. Lewis defined humility: “Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less.”  In all my endeavors, I want to engage and fully utilize my God-given strengths, talents, and passions to maximize the opportunities within my sphere of influence.  I believe that is what fulfilling your purpose is all about.  As you consider your strengths, talents, gifts, passions, opportunities, and sphere of influence, I encourage and challenge you to fully embrace them in a way that makes a positive impact on others vs solely promoting yourself.

 

“Be Humble” also demands a spirit and attitude of gratefulness.  It means to accept opportunities with enthusiasm and be appreciative of all that God brings your way.  There are many things that have happened in my life that can only be explained through the power and presence of God in my life.  My faith provides the main foundation for my life and is the cornerstone for everything that I do.  I thank God for this moment called my life, and I want to make it count.  Having a spirit of gratefulness allows you to enjoy the journey.

 

Finally, “Be Humble” promotes a pursuit of excellence in all that we do.  If you are appreciative of the moments, you will do all that you can to excel and do your best knowing that not everyone receives an opportunity to do what you do.  That’s the way that I feel about my work and my life.

 

Being humble is a great way to go through life and a virtue that we should all pursue.  Humility is not cowering low; it is charging forth with the right attitude and actions!

 

Be Humble and Hungry Part 1

 

Another year and another time to reflect on the past and prepare for the future.  I hope you have taken time to consider the past year including what you have learned, what you have achieved, and what you want to recommit to for the coming year.  I hope that you are also preparing for an incredible year ahead filled with memories, not regrets.  Make sure that you take time to write down your goals for the coming year and share them with a few people who will hold you accountable to achieving them.

I am a big believer in the process of goal achievement both for my clients and for myself.  Some people never commit to the art of writing down their goals.  Others take it a step further to set goals but don’t follow through with an action plan for achieving their goals.  Anyone can set goals; only the committed will achieve their goals.

 

I have templates that I use for myself and for my coaching clients and a process that involves writing down meaningful goals in all areas of life that are important.  I also develop a theme for the coming year.  For 2012, my theme is: “Be Humble and Hungry.”  Over the next couple of days, I will further explain what it means to me to be humble and to be hungry as it relates to my goals.  For now, I want to challenge you to think about the following questions to help you develop your goals for this year:

 

• What has become clear over the past year?

• What achievements have brought you the most contentment over the past year?

• What have you learned about yourself?

• How have you grown over the past year?

• What achievements will bring you the greatest joy in the coming year?

• Who needs you to be a leader in their lives this year?

• What are the most important roles or areas of your life?

• What are 3-5 meaningful goals that you can set in those roles/areas of your life?

• In addition to things that you want “to do,” what are some things that you need to write down for your “to be” list?

• What is a theme that summarizes and brings energy to your plans for the future?

• Is there a favorite quote or Bible verse that brings light and passion to the process of achieving your goals?

• Have you committed your plans to prayer and submitted your plans to God?

• Who are 3 people (friend, family member, a coach) who can help you achieve and be accountable to your goals?

• Do your goals meet the SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Results-Oriented, and Time-bound) criteria?

 

Don’t let this year pass you by!  Don’t just go through the motions!  Focus your strengths, passion, attitude, energy, and effort on fulfilling your purpose this year and beyond!

 

If you need assistance or coaching as you develop your goals for the new year, we can help.  We have an excellent track record in helping high potentials and high performers in sports, business, and life achieve their goals and maximize their potential.  Click here for more information about our coaching services.  Click here if you are intersted in having Mike speak to your team or organization.

The Best Present

On Christmas day, many people all over the world will gather together around a tree and open presents.  As a young boy, I remember anticipating this day and all that it would bring.  I would stand in the hallway waiting for what seemed like hours for my grandfather to get his camera ready to take pictures of my reaction as I ran into the living room to see all of the gifts that were left under the stockings and the tree.  As a father, I still get excited seeing our boys' sense of wonder as they open the gifts we picked out for them.

While gifts are nice and presents are an expression of appreciation for our love for others, the best gift is found in the real meaning of Christmas.  Jesus Christ's presence in our lives is the ultimate present that we could receive in our lives.  May you have a very blessed Christmas with family and friends, and may Christ's presence be ever present in your life!

Yes, You Can Inspire Others!

 

Inspire: To influence or impel someone forward into action

  

Some people feel like they cannot inspire others.  It is not because they don’t believe that people can be inspired by others to move forward.  They just believe that they do not have the perceived “magical” qualities to influence others to action.  They falsely assume that only a select few have the secret sauce to inspiring others to success.  They think that only Leaders with an emphasis on the capital “L” have the platform to impact others.  They wrongly believe that only people who stand on a stage or platform speaking and performing for others could garner enough capital to capture someone’s attention.

 

The reality is that you can inspire others to action every day.  You have been blessed with unique talents that only you possess.  You have been given a sphere of influence and have been created in a certain manner in order to know and discern what people in this sphere need.  An encouraging word.  A smile.  Positive feedback.  Challenging them to reach their potential.  We all have these opportunities no matter how big our stage is and what platform we possess.  I believe there are 3 ways that we can do this:

 

• Our Words – Evaluate the words you use every day.  Do they set a positive tone and outlook for you and for others?  Or, are you like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh constantly predicting gloom and doom for the future with sayings like, “It’s probably going to rain today,” when there is not a cloud in the sky.

 

• Our Actions – The way we live our lives communicates volumes to others about what we believe.  We don’t want this Ralph Waldo Emerson quote to be said of us: “What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.”  Make sure that your talk matches your walk and that your example lines up with what you espouse.

 

• Our Ability to Listen – Many times, we are so focused on what we want to say that we miss what others are communicating both verbally and non-verbally about their current situation.  This is what I have learned from being a coach to athletes and business people as well as examining the best mentors in my own life.  People want to be heard and understood in order to be inspired.

 

Yes, you can inspire others and positively influence them in their life journey.  The choice is up to you whether you will take on this challenge.

Someone Is Counting On You

 

Someone is counting on you!  Whether you know it or not, people are relying on you.  Whether you recognize it or not, people are observing your every move and desperately hoping that you take the right steps.  This does not happen at some magical age of accountability or responsibility.  It is as true for students as it is for adults.

 

The key question is: What are they counting on you to do?  Here are some things I think people are counting on you and me to be and to do:

 

• Live a life of integrity.

• Be honest with ourselves and others.

• Bring our “A” game to everything we do and in whatever role we play (i.e. student, athlete, parent, spouse, friend, business leader, etc.).

• Have a great attitude.

• Be grateful and content.

• Say the words “I’m sorry,” “I love you,” and “Thank you” more often.

• Use our strengths for the greater good of our homes, our places of work, and our communities.

• Be engaged in life versus just going through the motions.

• Share wisdom gained through times of trials and triumphs.

• Listen more.

• Smile often.

• Make a positive impact within your sphere of influence and beyond.

• Be strong and courageous.

• Make the most of the moments we have been given.
  

 

You have one life - one moment in time - to be who you were created to be and to do everything that you have been called to do....

 

LET'S GO!

 

How are you doing in living out the items on this list?  What else would you add to this list?

Model the Way

 

In their incredible book The Leadership Challenge, Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner outline 5 great practices of exemplary leadership.  “Model the Way” is the very first practice that they discuss which involves leading the way and setting the standard for performance.  If you cannot lead yourself effectively, you cannot expect to lead others. 

Great leaders understand that leadership at its core is about influence, and they strive to make a positive impact through an effective example.  In my opinion, leading the way involves setting the standard for excellence and performance through:

 

• Developing And Living Your Core Values – You must be able to define the values that are important to you and then align those with the people and organization that you lead and influence.  If a core value like mutual respect is important to you but you work with people who don’t share this same value, you will have conflict that must be resolved.

• Being A Principled-Centered Leader – Principles are true no matter whether we believe them or not.  For example, the principle of the harvest (“You Reap What You Sow”) is an active principle for farmers.  A farmer cannot plant corn and then expect beans to sprout.  The same is true for your life.  If you sow hard work and preparation, you will reap the benefits of this investment in your life.  The reverse is true as well.  If you sow minimal effort and procrastination, you will feel the effects of this in a mediocre performance.  Principles provide a compass to guide our decisions.

• Effectively Managing Yourself – Time management is a myth!  Each of us has 24 hours in a day.  We cannot manage time, but we can effectively manage ourselves in the time that we have.  Our choices and decisions about how we invest our time become a roadmap for the legacy we are leaving.

• Setting The Right Example For Your Teammates – Setting the right example involves identifying who is in your sphere of influence, understanding your unique gifts, strengths, and talents, and fully exploiting opportunities to create value for people that you can positively impact and for the organization as a whole whether it be your company, your family, or your sports team.

 

As the father of five boys, I have a huge responsibility and opportunity to present an effective model for them to follow.  I know I don’t always model the perfect way, but I am striving to do this every day and grow from those experiences where I failed in the past.

 

People are watching you.  The key question is: How are you impacting the next generation through your leadership example?

7 Leadership Lessons From Being An Undersized Point Guard

 

I was not created with incredible height; yet, I did not let that limit me in my pursuit of playing basketball and competing on the court.  I was a part of some incredible teams in high school including one that went 32-3 and made it to the state championship game at the highest level in the state of Tennessee.  As a 5’10 (or maybe 5’9”) point guard, I was not always the first pick based on appearance but definitely strived to make an impression based on my play.  The key was not letting a limiting belief like my lack of size compared to other people hold me back from competing and achieving my best.

 

Based on my experience, here are 7 leadership lessons that I learned from this journey:

 

• Run Every Sprint – In practice, I was the one who ran every sprint as hard as I could.  It was a race, and I was determined to win each one no matter how tired I was.  Sometimes, people don’t want to “run every sprint.”  They take plays off, or in life, take days off.  If we are toeing the line, we have to be engaged and give it our all.  As you do this, it will inspire the people beside you to give their all as well.

 

• Do Every Drill -  Every day, I focused on doing every drill that our coach told us to do in order to improve my game.  I never once thought I had arrived, and I sought role models that were better than me who modeled this same attitude.

 

• Compete Always – Whenever I stepped on a court of any kind, I always competed.  Whether it was a pickup game among friends in a driveway, 5-on-5 practice runs, or an actual game, I always strived to give it my all and play to win.  This intensity gave me the ability to focus on what I could control versus other factors that might distract me from achieving my goal.

 

• Associate With Champions – I learned to find champions who I could learn from either by watching on TV or playing with in a game.  I have always been drawn to those players who separate themselves from the rest for a sustained period of time, not just the players who occasionally make a superstar play.  Sustained greatness is a habit that is cultivated through hard work and a strong will.  Associating with champions gives us role models to follow and accountability to help us achieve our goals.

 

• Never Give Up -  No matter if we were losing or winning in a game, I never gave up!  Even if there were only a few seconds left in the game.  I also hated being around teammates in the locker room who talked about how good the competition was or how we might lose.  My natural tendency was to run from this kind of talk and suit up, compete, and see what would happen.  The moment you give up in sports or in life is the moment you are defeated no matter what the scoreboard says.

 

• Find A Way -  I always looked to find a way to win.  I usually guarded the best player on the opposing team, regardless of height.  If I was playing a taller player, I would use my quickness to frustrate him.  If I was playing a superior player in talent and/or speed, I would player tighter defense and deny him the ball instead of backing off which would be the natural tendency.  When we are faced with obstacles and hurdles in life, we must find a way to solve the puzzle, persevere in the moment, and find a way to be successful.

 

• Enjoy The Journey – Throughout it all, I enjoyed the journey of growing and developing into the best basketball player I could become based on my potential and talent.  Some people strive to be their best but never enjoy the journey to get there.  Others give up along the way, because they don’t want to put in the work to achieve the goal.  I believe there is a way to both work hard and enjoy the process, and passion fuels the journey to goal achievement in sports, business, and life.

 

I think all of these lessons can be applied both on the basketball court and off.  Take time today to consider your strengths, your opportunities, and the goals you have set for yourself, and then consider how you can apply these leadership lessons in your life.  As Vince Lombardi said, “The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.”

 

What does it mean to you to “never give up?”

56

 

The other night, the coaches, parents, and players of my son Grant’s second grade football team took a “field trip” to watch a high school football game.  We arrived early, received a special tour of the weight room, and picked out a section of seats that would allow them the perfect view.  This group of 2nd grade football players were excited to see a high school football game and cheer for the players wearing jerseys that they just might one day don.  They also were excited to see Grant’s older brother Will play in the game.

 

They asked Grant what Will’s number was, and Grant's teammates spontaneously began to chant his number.  This seemed a little impersonal, so they chanted his last name even louder.  “VAN HOOZER! VAN HOOZER! VAN HOOZER!”  Thinking Will and his other teammates couldn’t hear their cheers, this group of football players wearing their team jerseys went down closer to within talking distance of the team on the sidelines.

 

Again, the chants of “VAN HOOZER! VAN HOOZER!” rang out.  His teammates began to turn around and also make Will aware of his cheering section.  When Will turned around and acknowledged them, the cheers and chants exploded even louder.

 

The game was good, but this show was even better!   At the end of the game, Grant and his teammates ran down to where the players walk to the locker room.  They gave high fives to the bigger high school players as they walked through and gave another roaring version of “VAN HOOZER!” when Will walked by the group.  I am sure Will’s teammates gave him a hard time about this later in the locker room.

 

After all of the players and coaches had walked through this ad-hoc procession line, one player remained – Number 56.  His head was down, and he didn’t look like he had played in the game.  He looked up and saw that a “team” of players was waiting for him and he began to walk a little faster.  As he approached this group of eager 2nd graders, a spontaneous shout of “56! 56! 56!” echoed across the parking lot.  No one told them to do it, but somehow they knew he needed it.  I don’t think anyone had cheered for him all night, but his smile and expression spoke volumes about the way he felt after he walked through this line of encouragers!

 

As you travel through this day, who are you encouraging?  Who do you have in your life that is encouraging you?  Finally, who is the “56” in your life that may not immediately come to mind, but is in your story for a reason and needs you to say something that will inspire them to pursue their potential.

 

Seek out opportunities to lift others up by your words and actions.  If you are really brave, you might even create a cheering section for someone and begin to chant their name as they walk by today!

You Are Writing Your Story

 

“The legacy you live is the legacy you leave.”

                                    - Ken Blanchard

 

Whether you realize it or not, every day you are writing the script to your story.  With every choice and decision about your time, talent, and resources you are putting a stamp on your legacy.  With every great story, there are central characters, role players, antagonists, successes, setbacks, a key challenge, and a pursuit of persevering through the key challenge.

Does life seem to be passing you by?  Are you writing the story that you want to create?  If the answer is a resounding “No!” or you are unsure and you feel like you are going through the motions, here are 3 steps that may help you in this process:

 

• Reflect – Take time to reflect by scheduling a personal retreat.  You may not have time or the resources to schedule a 6-month sabbatical, but you can make a choice to take a day or a weekend retreat to assess where you are, where you have been, and where you are going.  One thing that has helped me in times of reflection in my journey is the power or prayer and listening to God for direction, wisdom, and clarity.  Another thing has been asking myself the question that Ralph Waldo Emerson used to ask Thoreau and his other friends, “What has become clear since we last met?”

 

• Redirect – This may involve redirecting your energy, your priorities, and your pursuits.  Based on an honest assessment of your strengths, passions, and purpose in life, you have an opportunity to redirect your efforts toward the right road in life.  While we do not have ultimate control of the events in our lives and the world around us, we must be active and engaged if we want to affect the outcome of our story.  Life was never intended to be a spectator sport no matter how good the seats or how tasty the halftime snacks are.

 

• Run – As an endurance runner, I love to run!  I even like to walk fast when I am going somewhere.  Running allows me to be active in a journey and committed to a goal.  In life, we must be active in our journey and committed to purposeful decisions that will achieve our goal.  While you may only gain clarity about the next step, trust and faith allow you to take that step with a determination that you are on the right path.  We were created to embrace our calling and run with a purpose toward the right pursuits.
  

 

The path is often determined by asking the right questions to gain clarity through the right answers.  You get one shot at life - one story to craft and create something beautiful, memorable, and significant.

 

Decide today to be actively engaged in creating the story you were intended to live!

What do you think your purpose or calling in life is?  How are you impacting the people in your story?

Tomorrow

 

“Maybe tomorrow I'll start over

Maybe tomorrow I will finally change my ways

Said the same thing yesterday

Don't know why I'm so afraid”

        - “Tomorrow,” Song by Mandisa, Songwriters: Benjamin Glover,            Jeffrey Thomas Pardo

 

I hear this a lot!  From people I coach, and if I’m truly honest, from myself as well.  Not all the time.  Some moments are longer than others.  It’s the first step to growth, but if tomorrow remains our mindset for today for very long, it eventually becomes someday, which slowly drifts into never.

 

We know what’s waiting for us on the other side of change, but we often lack the faith to take the first step to a positive outcome.  It’s more comfortable to stay on the sidelines than to venture in to the game that is being played before us.  We become a spectator vs. an active, engaged participant.  Setbacks, apathy, doubt, lack of confidence, the memory of past performances where we failed, and the uncertainty of controlling the outcome drive us back to a place we were never meant to be.  As Fulton Oursler said, “Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.”

 

In the chorus of this Mandisa song, she exclaims:

 

“I can't live my whole life wasting

All the grace that I know You've given

'Cause You made me for so much more than

Sitting on the sidelines

 

I don't wanna look back and wonder

If good enough could have been better

Every day's a day that's borrowed

So why am I waiting for tomorrow?

Why am I waiting for tomorrow?”

 

My challenge and encouragement to you is to make today count.  You don’t want to look back at the opportunity before you and wonder if it was good enough.  Whether you are a parent, spouse, business leader, athlete, student, or coach, strive to make the most of your moments by maximizing your potential and focusing on the goal ahead of you.  Don’t let the distractions of today rob you of the joy of making your life count for what matters most.

 

What keeps you from making a positive change in your life?  What has helped you succeed in achieving a goal in your life?

Punctuate With A Period

 

“I was hitting the golf ball well in practice and trust I can hit the ball anywhere I want to, but I don’t always trust this club and I have been working on a swing change….”

 

One of my best golfers had just uttered this long run-on sentence during one of our on-course sessions.  Somewhere in the midst of the forest of fear and doubt, I discovered some trees of truth and decided to focus on it.  “What did you say at the beginning of that sentence?” I asked.  She responded by saying, “I was hitting the golf ball well in practice and trust that I can hit the ball anywhere I want to.”  I immediately jumped in at that point and said, “PERIOD.” Now, go do it.  Feeling a little cut off in the conversation, she obliged, went through her pre-shot routine, and hit an incredible right to left shot that bounced about 7 feet from the hole.  As she turned around to look at me elated, surprised, perplexed, and confident all in the same moment, I told her, “You must put the period at the right place in the sentence.”

 

 

Some people don’t know how to punctuate a sentence.  In fact, if we’re honest with ourselves, we have all made this same mistake at some point in our lives.  We string words together and when it comes time to putting the period at the appropriate place we extend the thought with additional, not so helpful connectors and phrases.  In my experience in coaching athletes, executives, and entrepreneurs, it looks like this:

 

• “I know I have the skills and talent to make this team, but…”

 

• “I feel good about the direction I am going, yet…”

 

• “I have been practicing great over the last few weeks, but…”

 

• “I have a great business idea and know it can be successful, but…”

 

• "I feel like I am a great mother/father, but..."

 

• "I want to lose 10 (or insert magic number here) pounds, but..."
  

 

Don’t get me wrong, conjunctions can be very constructive when used in the right way; yet, we often used them to hedge and limit ourselves in what we are able to accomplish.  Or, we allow thoughts of fear, doubt, and a lack of confidence to oppose the truths about our talents and opportunities.

 

Not ending the sentence in the right place can be very detrimental to our performances.  My mom was an English teacher and taught me that punctuation is important.  Make sure that you conclude your thoughts in a way that is constructive and can help you achieve the goals and opportunities before you.

 

How well do you punctuate your sentences?  What have you found helpful to replace the thoughts of fear and doubt with thoughts of trust and belief?

The Choice

 

“Everyday

The world is made

A chance to change

But I feel the same

 

And I wonder why

would I wait till I die

to come alive?”

         - “Afterlife,” Song by Switchfoot

 

Why do we wait, hesitate, and let moments pass us by?  Opportunities are all around us, and yet, there are times when we don’t seize the moment to make a positive difference in the world around us.  We passively ignore our sphere of influence, and let circumstances and other factors dictate the outcome.

  

I don’t want to wait until I die to make a difference.  I aspire to come alive now, to fully engage my strengths and passions in the opportunities and moments I have been given.  In my own journey as well as through my conversations with people I coach, I have seen at least three things that keep us from fully “coming alive:”

 

• Distractions – This world is filled with distractions.  Instead of focusing on the road ahead, we focus our time, attention, and resources on the off ramps and side roads that call out to us and lead us astray from our destination.

 

• Interruptions – Life is not perfect, and our road is often paved with potholes we did not plan for.  No one asks for cancer.  I have never heard anyone say, “You know, I haven’t had a good trial in my life lately.  I’m going to schedule one for this Thursday at 2.”  But, interruptions are a part of this life and our ability to deal with and persevere through interruptions will determine our impact on the world around us.

 

• Engagement – The lack of engagement in our lives, and more specifically, the roles in our lives, leads us to a numb existence.  Some people just watch the moments pass by and become a spectator instead of an active participant in their lives and the world around them.

 

Whether you are leading your family, your organization, or your team, you have a responsibility to be actively engaged in the events around you.  You have an opportunity to go beyond transactional leadership and truly help to transform the lives and fates of people.

 

It’s your choice, you can let yourself DIE a slow death through Distractions, Interruptions and a lack of full Engagement, or you can choose to embrace the life you have been given, imperfect as it may be, and make the most of your moments.

 

Which will you choose?

Leadership Takes Courage

 

“She’s done a great job on all of her performance reviews, but there’s one issue that I still have a problem with.  I don’t think she’s ready to be promoted.”

 

I still remember sitting through another annual promotion meeting where a manager stumbled through the edict from above.  There would be no promotion for someone who clearly had risen above the expectations of all that she had been asked and coached to do.  In a group of about 50 people, I spoke up and asked, “And, did you confront her about the issue and coach her throughout the last year to improve on this “issue?”  His answer: a sheepish, solemn, “No.”

 

In this situation, a high potential person was being penalized for the lack of leadership of her manager, who did not have the courage to deliver constructive feedback and coach her to become better in a certain area.  How can you improve in an area when you don’t even know it’s a problem?  Moreover, how do you trust that the positive feedback you are receiving is real and authentic?

 

As a leader, you must communicate and connect with the people that have been entrusted to you.  This point is true in business as well as in sports and life.  A great coach must deliver both positive and constructive feedback to his or her team.  An effective parent uses coaching and teaching techniques to help his or her children mature and develop into productive members of society who fulfill their purpose.  Yelling all the time or giving a flippant response of “Fine.” to the question of “How am I doing?” just won’t cut it.  We all want and deserve feedback.

 

For some, giving feedback comes natural to them.  For others, it is difficult.  As Peter Senge, author of The Fifth Discipline and senior lecturer at MIT, says, "This is new work for most experienced managers, many of whom rose to the top because of their decision-making and problem-solving skills, not their skills in mentoring, coaching, and helping others learn.”  Regardless where you fall within this spectrum, it is your responsibility as a leader to communicate with your team and connect in an effective way to help them maximize their potential.  As I recently said to a group of athletes who were leaders on their respective teams, “C is for Captain; L is for Leader. Don't sign up for the position if you can't handle the pressure!”

 

Whether it’s your son or daughter, your teammate, or a member of the team you lead, don’t let words go unspoken that would help them become all that they can be.  You don’t want to be in a position where they come back to you somewhere down the road and ask: “Why didn’t you tell me about this and help me try to become my best?”

 

Do you find it easy to give both positive and constructive feedback to others?  What is the best advice you have ever received from a mentor?

The Race

 

It takes both mental and physical toughness to be an endurance athlete.  Whether the challenge is an Ironman triathlon or a marathon, competitors must endure hours of perseverance to reach the prize.  The athletes who train to compete in these events also know that whatever the outcome of the final race, the reward is in the journey of pushing themselves beyond what they thought they could do.

   

 

I am currently training for two marathon events.  These races will be my first marathons since 2003 when my youngest son Grant was born and I ran the Houston marathon all in one weekend.  Later that year, I also had to undergo knee surgery.  Through that process, I learned how to take better care of my body and prepare for marathon running.  The other day, I ran 15 miles, which was my longest run in 8 years.  It was a great test to see how far I had I come since that time.  While there are physical challenges with running long distances, the mental challenges are sometimes just as menacing.  Here are a few things that help me get through these runs:

 

• Accountability Partners – While I primarily “coach” myself, I have a team of accountability partners who are runners, triathletes, running coaches, nutritionists, personal trainers, and personal friends who keep me accountable to the goals that I have set for my training runs and my races.  During my long runs, I think of them, especially when I have communicated that I am running a certain distance and want to report back that a successful milestone has been accomplished.

 

• Great Thoughts – Serving as a sports performance and mental game coach for athletes, I had to put this one down.  During my runs, I think of key phrases that will help me be my best in the moment and accomplish the goal.  The phrases are not simply “feel good” bumper sticker phrases but true activator phrases that will trigger something physically for me.  There’s a big difference between “You’re Special” and “Be a Fighter” or “Nice and Smooth.”  The first phrase is a cotton candy thought while the last two phrases are tied specifically to my running.

 

• Inspiring Music – I have been using the same running mix on my iPod for the last few years.  While I occasionally add a song here or there, I stick with what works for me.  There’s something truly motivating hearing Chris Daughtry sing “It’s not a time to breakdown!” in the middle of a 15-mile run!

 

• My Family – My wife and my boys know that I am training to accomplish a goal of qualifying for the Boston Marathon.  They are a huge encouragement to me in this effort!  I think about them when I am running, because I know they will be waiting at the door to see how I did that day.  I am also trying to demonstrate to them that they can set goals and work hard to achieve them.  They also know that a family trip to Boston to see me run and see the Red Sox may be in the works if I reach my goal.

 

• My Faith – I find running to be a very spiritual experience.  I do some of my best thinking when I am running, and I feel God’s presence every step of the way.  It is a great way to get away and hear wisdom that I may not hear in the noise of my daily activities.

 

The truth is that the things that help me persevere and stay focused through a long run are the same things that help me on my journey in life.  And they can help you too.  We all need: accountability partners to help challenge, teach, and encourage us; great thoughts that keep us focused every day; inspiring music that provides the soundtrack for our lives; a nurturing group of family and friends to be there for us and help inspire us to excellence; and a faith to keep us refined, humble, and hopeful.

 

May you find each of these as you press on toward the prize of your life.  Race well!

 

What helps get you through long runs or your journey in life?  What song would you choose for the soundtrack of your life?

See it, Feel it, Trust it

 

"Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerely believe, and enthusiastically act upon must inevitably come to pass!" – Paul J. Meyer

 

 “SFT is the key.”  I still remember David Cook telling me this about 7 years ago.  This moment occurred a few years before he wrote his bestselling book Golf’s Sacred Journey: Seven Days at the Links of Utopia and long before he even thought there could be a movie project in the works.  David was just sharing a principle with me that had worked in his life as well the lives of so many that he had touched through his speaking and serving as the mental game expert for many great athletes, teams, and coaches.

 

 

The summer of 2004 was a springboard for me – a defining moment for which I am eternally grateful.  David mentored me in his methods and encouraged me to make this a part of what I was doing.  Now, as his movie "Seven Days in Utopia" starring Robert Duvall releases this weekend, I am so happy for how God has worked in and through his life to create a movement that will serve as a catalyst for people in sports, business, and life.  Yes, the movie and his book are about golf, but the core principles and themes represent so much more than taking a few strokes off of your golf game.  I strongly encourage you to go see this film!

 

SFT is a concept that I have had the privilege of teaching to the athletes I coach as well as business leaders and entrepreneurs.  The letters stand for “See it, Feel it, Trust it.”  I use this theme with athletes in all sports, but golf provides a great outlet for explaining this concept.  The golfers that I work with play at an elite level whether they are at the high school, college, or the professional level.  They have the potential to hit a shot in the direction they want whenever they choose.  Yet, many times, they rely more on technique, analytics, and mechanics more than their athletic ability.  They also can get caught up in going through the motions without paying attention to the little things that make a big difference in whether they land somewhere on the green or 5-7 feet from the hole – striking distance for scoring well.

 

The basic premise of SFT is this:

 

• See  it – You have to vividly visualize what you are trying to accomplish.  In golf, we call it painting a picture in your mind.  There is a big difference between saying “I want to land on the green” vs. describing in detail the trajectory of the ball flight and where and how it is going to land and roll up to the hole.  If you don’t have a specific picture in your mind of where you are going, don’t be surprised where you land in life.

 

• Feel it – Once you have painted the shot in your mind, you have to get a feel for how to make that shot.  For golfers, they go through their pre-shot routine of swinging the club to make the shot they just painted in their mind.  They have the mechanics; they just have to focus on feel to let their athletic talent come out.

 

• Trust it – This is the final step in the process – walking up to the ball and doing it.  In life some people can visualize their goals, develop action plans to achieve the goals, but lack the persistence and commitment to take a step of faith to make it happen.  Trust is all about letting go of the mechanical thoughts and commands as well as the voices that tell us we can’t do this and letting it happen by unleashing our talent.

 

SFT doesn’t guarantee success in golf or in life, but the process provides a path to put us into the best position to score.   I have seen it work time and time again.

 

As you pursue your goals, remember to use SFT to picture it in your mind and then paint it with your life!

 

How can you use the concept of SFT in your life?  

 

The Voice of Doubt

 

"Doubts are more cruel than the worst of truths."

 

Have you ever heard “the voice?” And, no, I am not talking about the show where contestants compete in a singing contest.  I’m talking about the voice in your head that says:

 

• “You’re not good enough!”

• “You will never measure up!”

• “You could never accomplish that!”

• “Look at how many times you’ve failed!”

• “You’ve made too many mistakes to offer advice to anyone!”

 

If we’re honest with ourselves, we have all heard this voice at one point in our lives – some for a moment, others for lifetime.  If we are not careful, the voice becomes loud, confident, and controlling.  It becomes the dominant force in our lives and becomes the spokesperson for why we have not achieved our goals and pursued our potential.

 

I was thinking about this during a recent speed workout for my marathon training.  I began my workout, which seemed unusually difficult.  I was laboring through each sprint and not achieving my slower heart rate through the jogs.  I heard a voice that said, “You’re huffing and puffing and are too slow to accomplish your goal of ever qualifying for the Boston Marathon!”  Due to the heat, I stopped about halfway through the workout to drink some water and realized that I had not clipped on my iPod for my run.  I love to listen to music while I run.  I find it inspirational and motivating to get through my workouts – especially ones as tough as these.  I put my earbuds in and pressed “Play” and listened to a new voice – one that said, “Keep running!  Finish strong!”

 

The truth is, my times were good, and I know that the cumulative effect of this training is preparing me to accomplish my goals when I run my marathon races later this year.  It begs the question: Are we suppressing the truth by listening to “the voice?”  And which voice should we be listening to – the one that tells us we will never amount to anything or the one that tells us that we are created in the image of God and that there are plans and purposes yet to be discovered?

 

A friend of mine often asks the question when he speaks to a group: What lies do you believe?  It is a provocative question, because people don’t want to admit that they believe any lies.  Yet, when we listen to the wrong voice and give in to doubt and fear, we play it safe in the kiddie pool and don’t launch out into the deeper waters where our purpose is often found.  We let lies rule our lives.

 

Today, make it your mission to drown out the voice of fear, doubt, pressure, and lack of confidence, and focus on listening to the voice that transmits truth to the very essence of your being.  A voice that is often heard as a still, small voice.

 

What lies do you believe?  What truths about yourself do you need to trust?

The Look

 

I speak to a lot of groups from students to seniors, athletes to academics, and corporations to charities.  I meet and spend time with all sorts of people with different backgrounds, ethnicities, and worldviews.  In speaking to these groups, I have received every kind of response including enthusiastic encouragement and challenging critiques.

Occasionally, I will look into the audience and see a person who has a “look.”  Maybe, you have encountered this type of person as well.  It’s often just a blank stare, mouth slightly open with a display of emotionless glare.  If you’re not careful, you might mistake this look for an expression of disdain for what you are presenting, communicating, or representing.  Sometimes, it is.  Most of the time it is nothing other than the look they give everyone.

 

We can be thrown off by people who are critical of us or don’t really get what we are trying to do or those people who just have a “look.”  The first time I received a harsh critique of a book I had written I was upset.  Then, I learned that this so-called critic was actually trying to sway readers to something he had published.  I learned that if you were going to put yourself out there in print, 100 percent of the people were not necessarily going to jump on the bandwagon with rousing applause.

 

The bottom line is that if you are going to stand for something, there will always be critics, naysayers, and haters.  If someone has some valid points about something you said, pay attention to it and learn from it.  If you truly believe in what you wrote, said, or did, move on and don’t be distracted by others.

 

Comedian Bill Cosby said it this way, “I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”  Whether you are in sales hearing more responses of “No!” than “Yes,” or a parent trying to lead a family of blank stares or an athlete striving to model the right way to prepare for success often as a lone wolf, stand up for what you believe in.  Be diligent in the process and don’t be distracted by the “look.”

 

How do you deal with critics?

 

No One is Perfect

 

“I have missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot . . . and missed. And I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why . . . I succeed.”  (Michael Jordan)

 

No one is perfect.  An obvious truth, but I find the more I work with high potentials and high performers, the more I find that they are shocked when something doesn’t go as planned.  A golf shot off the tee goes right when it should have gone left.  A game-winning shot clangs off the rim.  A goal is not achieved after months of hard work.

 

While we know inherently that perfection is not a thing to be grasped, we labor in pursuit of the pot at the end of the rainbow.  Our expectation of perfection gets in the way of our pursuit of peak performance in the present.  While I strongly believe that you should have a determined “I Will” mentality in everything you do (i.e. “I will make this shot!”), you should not be surprised when something doesn’t go your way.  The shock of disappointment can lead to a spiraling downwards in performance similar to food being sucked into a garbage disposal.  Failure in the past can become a self-fulfilling prophecy for your future.

 

I have had professional athletes that I work with tell me that they deal with failure all the time.  A good batting average at the professional level is around .300.  That means that they are failing 7 out of 10 times.  A good shooting percentage in basketball is around 40%.  That means that they are failing 6 out of 10 times.  If you can’t handle missing shots and not getting hits, you will never be prepared for the successes that will eventually come.  Your key to recovery is putting the past behind you and focusing on the current moment with a healthy confidence that you can and you WILL succeed in this moment.

 

While disappointment is a part of life, discovering yourself and growing in the process to become your best athletically as well as academically, socially, spiritually, emotionally, and relationally is what life is all about.  Don’t let the fears of what may never be rob you of the joy of what could happen.

 

How does your past affect how you perform in the present moment?

What I’ve Learned From Coaching So Far

 

Coaching requires discernment.  You must know your client and the context of their circumstances to be able to listen effectively and provide advice appropriately.  Being a coach is a journey that is filled with incredible moments when your client achieves success as well as valley moments when he or she encounters a storm.  I love serving in this role as a coach to elite athletes, business leaders, and entrepreneurs, but it is not for everyone.  Some people love the highs of success but can’t handle the dips in performance.  Someone once advised me, “If you’re gonna be there for the gain, you gotta be there for the pain!”

 

 

My main role is to help my clients mentally prepare to perform at their best.  I am still growing as a peak performance coach, and I hope I always will.  Based upon my experience in working with high potentials and high performers in sports, business, and life, here are some key things I have learned so far about being an effective coach:

 

• Build a Strong Foundation of Understanding – You have to get to know the person you are coaching – what makes them tick – in order to provide any kind of relevant input and advice that will be heard, received, understood, and incorporated into their life.  If the other person doesn’t feel like you “get them,” they will not receive your message.  A strong foundation of understanding your client will go a long way in building an effective relationship that is mutually beneficial.

 

• Know When to Encourage – In my coaching relationships, I work hard to encourage my clients and help them see what they are doing well.  We work together to build on what they are doing right so that they can build consistency in their performance.  It is so easy to be critical, and we are hardest on ourselves.  It is my job as a coach to encourage, literally “give courage,” to my clients.  The key part of this is knowing how and when to encourage them.  The high potentials and high performers I work with know if it is fake or undeserved and will see right through it.

• Know When to Challenge – In addition to encouragement, I also have to know when to challenge them, which focuses on accountability.  If I know they could have done better, I will tell them.  If I think they are “hedging” in their performance, I will challenge them to go farther.  The key aspect of this again is knowing how and when to do this.  Timing is everything.  If you are always exhorting and challenging the people you lead and coach, they will never be able to celebrate and build on the things they are doing well.

 

• Be Specific and Give Analogies – With any feedback I give, I have learned that I must be specific.  I can’t just say, “You’re great!”  I must tell them how they are performing well and give specific examples.  I have also found that the right analogy can be a powerful anchor for them to remember key concepts and principles that I want them to recall and use in their performances.

• Exhibit Discernment – Most of all, I have learned that an effective coach exhibits discernment in their approach.  Discernment goes way beyond just knowledge and experience.  In addition, the best coaches utilize intuition, perceptiveness, and wisdom to offer the right advice at the right time.  They understand their clients so well that they know what they need before the other person utters a word.  It has been my experience that these coaching relationships are the best kind.  As Lord Byron said, “Her great merit is finding out mine – there is nothing so amiable as discernment.”

 

I accept and embrace my role as a peak performance coach with humility and a sense of responsibility and service.  To paraphrase one of my professional baseball player’s adages: I want to be on the line trying to unlock and unleash the potential of others!

 

Whatever you role is (parent, spouse, business leader, mentor, teammate, etc.), I hope you can learn from the list that I have provided.  Remember, it is noble work to make a positive impact in the life of another person.  As Jackie Robinson said, “A life isn’t significant except for its impact on other lives.”

 

What are your thoughts on the keys to effective coaching?  What have the best coaches in your life done to help you reach your potential?

 

The Voice of Leadership

Communication is a fundamental problem in many organzations that I visit, consult with, and help coach.  Or, better said, the lack of effective communication is the real barrier between leaders and followers and amongst team members.  I know people understand the technique of talking, but they don't always master the art of communicating effectively.  Here are 5 things that a leader can do to connect and inspire his or her team:

• "Seek to understand, then be understood" - This is one of Stephen Covey's habits of highly successful people.  A leader must strive to understand where a person is coming from - the context for this person's thoughts, feelings, and ideas  - in order to communicate his or her own opinions.  In so doing, the leader will be able to communicate a message that is heard, received, understood, and incorporated into the other person's life.  A true connection must be made.  If I feel heard and understood, I am more likely to receive your feedback.

 

• Communicate feedback in terms of at least a 3:1 ratio of positive/constructive feedback - The more research we do across the domains of sports, business, and life, the more convinced we are that this ratio is critical to the success of people.  It has been my experience in working with everyone from high performing students to seniors that people don't always need your help in spotting the specks in their eyes.  What people need is someone who can highlight their strengths and talents and help them maximixe their potential.

 

• Communicate feedback in terms of the other person's "potential to be" - I first heard this term from leadership guru Warren Bennis.  As a leader, you must frame your feedback in terms of what they can become, not what they are not.  This doesn't rule out giving constructive feedback; it just means tailoring it toward a mutually shared vision.  Again, if I feel like you are trying to help me and "on my side," I will receive any kind of feedback from you, even if it is hard to digest in the moment.
  

 

• Ask questions and create a culture of being able to share without judgment and pride of ownership - Leaders can learn a lot through the power of questions.  Also, innovation happens when people suspend their assumptions about what was done in the past, especially if they were the one to create it, and open their minds to what could be.

 

• Always take time to encourage and connect what the other person does to the company's core values - The more a person connects their daily tasks to the mission and vision of the company, the more they will truly live out the core values of the organization.

 

What have you found to be effective in connecting with the people you lead?  What is your leadership voice?

 

Who Are You Hanging With?

 

Who you "hang with" impacts how high you can go in terms of your growth and leadership influence.  It’s true academically, athletically, spiritually, emotionally, and socially.  It’s true at work and in the community.  The caliber and character of the people you spend and invest the most time with will raise or lower the level of your leadership.  I want to hang with people who raise my game athletically, professionally, personally, creatively, and, most of all, spiritually.

So the key question remains:

 

Who am I "hanging with" and how are they affecting my growth?

 

I think there are at least 3 factors that are important in deciding who you invest your time with:

 

• Common Core Values – While it is very possible to have a relationship with people who have very different values than you, your closest relationships must be with people who share the same values as you.  In this way, you can mutually invest in each other and have a context for sharing advice, encouragement, and accountability.

 

• Shared Context – You are going to receive the most relevant feedback from people who know you best.  Shared context is about investing time with people who understand the events and circumstances that have led to this moment.  You should look for people who share a common mission, a similar role as you, or have gone through key experiences with you.

 

• Shared Goal – It is important that you clearly define the goals you want to accomplish in life and then surround yourself with people who can help you get there.  If you are striving for excellence at work, yet “hang with” people who are just collecting a paycheck and have no ambition for making a positive difference in the world, don’t be surprised if you wake up one day and realize you are still on the same road to mediocrity. 

 

Take an assessment of your life today.  First, evaluate the people that you are spending the most time with and decide if they are the right people.  Second, identify the your roles in life (athlete, friend, father, mother, leader, student, etc.), and list at least 3 people that you go to for advice in each of these areas.  If you do not have someone in a certain area, invest some time to find a mentor who can provide mutual advice, encouragement, and accountability.  Finally, schedule time with your mentors on a regular basis.  Invest in the relationship, and the returns will be mutually beneficial to both of you!

 

What factors have helped you identify mentors in your life?  What has been the best advice you have received from a mentor?

 

The Key to Effective Leadership

The key to effective leadership is something we are all searching for.  Some leaders think it is all about developing a brilliant strategy.  Other leaders place emphasis on systems and structures.  Still other leaders argue that the golden key is found in compensation, incentive, and rewards.  Finally, some leaders put all of their attention into modeling the way hoping something will catch on in the process.  While all of these methods need to be in place, I have learned that none of these can bring about impact and influence in another person’s life all by themselves.

 

 

From my experience in working with leaders, teams, and organizations, I believe that the key to effective leadership is found in your ability to inspire, impact, and influence other people to grow as leaders and achieve a goal – i.e. your “leadership effectiveness.”  James MacGregor Burns in his appropriately, yet simply titled book Leadership said it this way:

 

“…the transforming leader looks for potential motives in followers, seeks to satisfy higher needs, and engages the full person of the follower.  The result of transforming leadership is a relationship of mutual stimulation and elevation that converts followers into leaders and may convert leaders into moral agents.”

 

You can articulate a super strategy, implement seamless processes and structures, and roll out a rewards structure that creates potential financial success; but if you can’t tap into the motives and needs of the people you lead, you will never engage the full person into affecting long-term change – in themselves and in their organization.

 

Where this hits closest to home for me is my actual home.  I am a husband and a father of five boys and have important leadership responsibilities in both of these roles.  I don’t always lead in an effective manner and in a way that is achieving the results and, more importantly, the goals of my calling as a husband and father.  Sometimes, I articulate what I think is a brilliant strategy that doesn’t reach its full potential with my boys.  Sometimes, I use pay to motivate them.  Other times, I stress systems, procedures, and structure.  And when these things fail, I dig in hard to modeling the way wondering why no one is following.  The key is wrapping all of these methods into an overall approach that focuses on my ability to tap into their unique motives and needs to accomplish a shared vision for their lives.  Each of them is wired differently, and I have to understand that concept as a leader in order to affect change in each of their lives.

 

Knowing and understanding the people you lead is the first step to engaging the talents and passions of your people.  Hall of Fame baseball player Reggie Jackson said it this way: “A great manager [leader] ... forces you to have a good opinion of yourself.  He lets you know he believes in you.  He makes you get more out of yourself.  And once you learn how good you really are, you never settle for ... anything less than your very best.”

 

That is exactly the kind of leader that I want to be at home, at work, and in my community.

 

How are you tapping into the hearts and minds of the people you lead?  What do you do to improve your “leadership effectiveness” and “inspire, impact, and influence" change and growth in your people?

What I Learned From the Senior Games

 

I had the unique opportunity to speak this week in the Athlete Village at the 2011 Senior Games which was in Houston, TX.  I spoke on peak performance, and these athletes epitomize what it means to be peak performers.  Before my talk, I walked around to observe the action both on and off the court, and this is what I saw.  Competitive fierceness on the court.  Singing on the stage of the Athlete Village.  Dancing in the Aisles of the Expo Center.  Sportsmanship after the games.

How does one achieve peak performance in their life?  Surely, eating a healthy diet, getting the proper amount of sleep, and exercising regularly are all a part of the plan.  But, I think there is something more - something that the seniors I observed have discovered - that gives meaning and vibrancy to their lives after all these years.  Here are 3 things that I learned from the athletes I met at the 2011 Senior Games:

 

• The Importance of Joy - The people I saw walking around the convention center possessed genuine joy in their hearts that went beyond a superficial happiness.  Circumstances often determine our happiness quotient, but this group of people had found a way to maintain the joy of life no matter what the circumstances were. 

 

• Pursuing Your Potential For a Lifetime - The age of these athletes range in age from 50 to 80 and beyond.  Most people become afraid to shoot a basketball or dive for a volleball or run the 200 meters at that age because of fear of failure or injury.  The athletes at the Senior Games showed me you could maintain a level of performance congruent with your age and strive to maximize your talent for a lifetime.

 

• Having a Zest for Life - Most of all, I learned that having a zest for life was important if you want to live a fulfilling life.  On the court, these athletes were as determined as the athletes in the Olympics.  Off the court, they were smiling, talking to fellow particpants, dancing in the aisle, and singing with the performers that were in the Athlete Village.  They loved the fact that they were alive, and you could tell that they were making the most of the 24 hours they had been given!
  

 

I am so glad I was invited to speak to these ultimate peak performers.  While I went there to teach, I learned and grew from the experience and discovered that waking up each day with a smile on your face and a song in your heart is important to peak performance in life.  As my grandmother used to tell me (especially during times when I was not excited about the events of the day) from Psalm 118:24: "This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."

 

What have you learned about enjoying each day and every moment that you have been given?

Everyone Should Receive a Pat

 

This blog entry is a tribute to my grandfather Pat Joyner and the legacy he helped create!

This excerpt has been adapted from my book Moments: Making Your Life Count For What Matters Most.  Pat was my grandfather and an incredible man of integrity!  Although he is no longer alive, I love him and everything he stood for.  Everyone should have a "Pat" in their lives!

 

My grandfather was the first male figure that appeared on the scene.  His name was Pat, and he was the father of my mother.  He was a man of truth and integrity, living his life in such a way that what he said matched up with how he lived.  We had “man-to-man” talks, rides in his car, and rides on his lap.  I remember, as well as a 5-year old can remember, looking up into his eyes and wanting to be just like him.  He invited me to go with him everywhere.  It was the ideal mentoring relationship, where I was experiencing what it was like to be a “real man.”  It didn’t seem weird at the time, but as I look back at it, many fathers, and especially grandfathers, didn’t provide the kind of insight and access to their life that Pat did for me.

 

I was proud of Pat, and he was proud of me.  He took me – his only grandson and a fatherless one at that – and lived his life before me.  Pat took me to play golf before the days of Tiger Woods and child prodigies.  At the time, it was rare for a country club to allow a youngster on the course, because it might slow up the game for others.  Pat told the suspicious officials at the club that I was his caddy and ball watcher.  He insisted that I ride in the cart so that I could give him advice on shots and help him find his ball.  I knew I could help him find his golf balls, but at the time, I wasn’t so sure about being a caddy.  I didn’t know the difference between a fade and a draw, much less what club to use in different situations.  At the age of 8, the biggest club in the bag looks like the perfect club to use on every shot.  He would also let me hit balls on the course during our rounds together.  He provided the kind of instruction that is priceless – because of its content and its intent.  He was a true coach in golf and in life with the goal of helping me become all that God intended me to become, regardless of the cards I had been dealt.

 

 

We had bathroom moments where he taught me how to shave.  I remember watching him get ready for work and shaving with a blade.  I asked him one day if I could shave too.  Instead of some hurried and nervous reply about the dangers of using a blade and the urgency of his schedule, he replied emphatically, “Sure!”  He removed the blade from the steel razor and demonstrated which way to hold the razor.  I lathered up with enough shaving cream for 3 men to shave and proceeded to act like a real man who was experiencing a rite of passage.  He laughed in amusement at the show before him.  This was life!  Real life!  Not some semblance of an existence, but a connection made head to head and heart to heart.

 

It was the life that I knew.  I never once looked back on the day that my dad disappeared.  It was what it was.  The people who reappeared from behind the curtain stepped in and played a part I could never repay.  Pat had faith.  Faith in God.  Faith in me.  And that faith permeated everything I did and all of who I was becoming.  This faith was real and authentic.

 

Click to here to buy my book Moments: Making Your Life Count For What Matters Most.

 

Who has made an impact in your life?  What have you learned from them?

Perspective Matters

 

"The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today." Franklin D. Roosevelt

 

What a Difference a Day Makes!  One moment, he was the odd man out in a 3-person playoff in the US Open Sectional Qualifier to play in the US Open Golf Tournament.  The next day he was receiving a call indicating that Tiger Woods had withdrawn and asking if he, as the first alternate, would like to play in this prestigious PGA event.  It took about a half a second for him to say, “Yes, I think I would!”

 

For Michael Whitehead, this was a defining moment!  He graduated from Rice University in May, 2011, and had an incredible senior year in golf being selected as the Conference USA Player of the Year and to the PING All-Region Team.  Since then, he has been making the transition to become a pro golfer.  When he did not initially make the cut for the US Open, he was disappointed but remained hopeful that more opportunities would eventually appear.  In other words, he didn’t dwell on the past, which he could do nothing about; he focused on the future and, more importantly, his attitude and response in the present moment.

 

He and I have talked a lot about “performing in the moment” and playing shot to shot.  In life and in golf, Michael has learned a very important lesson through this experience.  Perspective matters!  Many of you can testify to the power of perspective.  Trials in life can cloud your clarity for how a certain situation will turn out; yet, perspective allows you to rise above the situation and press on toward the goal.  As Nido Qubein said, "Your present circumstances don't determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start."

 

Our perspective in the moment makes a tremendous difference in how we approach each day.  You may be facing something that seems insurmountable.  A job you don’t like.  A leader that is hard to work for.  A relationship that is broken.  A goal that appears out of reach.  A disease for which there is no cure.  My encouragement and challenge to you today is to do these 4 things:

 

• Write down 5 things you are grateful for – When we consider “things” like people in our lives, opportunities we have been given, the place we live, etc., we are less likely to focus on the heartache in front of us and, instead, enjoy the life we have been given.

 

• Focus on what you can control, influence what you can, and flush the rest – We often worry about what we cannot control vs. investing our mental, physical, and emotional energy in what we can control and influence.  Make the smart investment and watch for the return!

 

• Seek opportunities to invest in others – Identifying and serving the needs of others allows us to be others-focused, and we are often blessed in return.

 

• Pray for comfort, peace, and perspective about your situation – I often want to act and control the situation before praying for God’s strength in a given situation.  My faith is the foundation of my life, and I know when I pray that while my current circumstances may not change, my level of peace and perspective increase and improve allowing me to persevere through the challenge.

 

While Michael Whitehead may not be the favorite to win the US Open next week, I know that he has grown from this past week to be patient in the moment and maintain a proper perspective whether it is standing over a golf shot, waiting on a call about a tournament invite, or facing whatever this life deals him.

 

What have you learned about maintaining a proper perspective through a trial that you have experienced?

The First Step to Goal Achievement

 

“You are 4-5 times more likely to reach your goal just by writing it down.”  I know this to be true from the external research we have observed and studied and the work we have done with high performers in sports, business, and life.  I have spoken about this to groups and taught this in workshops and in one-on-one coaching sessions with my athletes.  I have also experienced this to be true in my own life.

 

Yet, over the last year, I had not written down a goal in a certain area of my life – until yesterday.  It was National Running Day, and the Rock-N-Roll Marathon Series ran a special one-day rate if you signed up for any of their marathon races.  I committed and signed up for the San Antonio Marathon in the Fall.

 

The context for this is that I had been running a lot over the last year.  I had also been telling my friends and fellow runners that I was going to run a marathon, but I never got around to it.  I was telling them as well as myself that I was in “marathon training;” yet I was not committed to a specific race – i.e. an end goal in mind.  When I hit “Submit” on the web site yesterday, everything changed for me.  I became committed to an end goal and all of my training now takes on a new connotation.

 

 

It is easy for us to go through life like this – to espouse what we are about or what we want to be about but never do anything about it.  Some people want to lose weight.  Others want to be a better spouse, parent, or leader in their organization.  I have learned that it is easy to be a goal espouser, but sometimes harder to be a goal achiever.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to just talk about goals, I want to achieve them and be better because of the journey to reach them.

 

I sincerely believe that the first step to goal achievement is writing it down.  I am so looking forward to crossing the finish line in San Antonio in the Fall!

 

For more on the benefit of writing down your goals, check out my friend Michael Hyatt's blog entry about the benefit of committing your goals to writing.

 

What goal or dream has been lingering in the back of your mind that you need to commit to by writing it down and then pursuing it passionately and purposefully?

 

The Leader as Mentor

“I don’t have time to help him.  If he can’t figure out how to do it, I guess I’ll just do it myself.”  Unfortunately, I have heard this kind of quote too many times from influential leaders.  In this fast-paced world with too many tasks to accomplish, mentoring is often the furthest thing from a person’s mind.  For some people, mentoring is a foreign concept.  Other people understand it but don’t make it a priority.

 

Mentoring is the leverage point of leadership.  One person can only do so much.  A leader’s production is dependent upon his or her ability to produce, but it also depends upon his or her ability to lead through others.  Mentoring is the craft of developing another person to become a leader, thereby increasing the effectiveness of the individual, the organization, and ultimately the mentor.  Many leaders are blind to the correlation of mentoring and their own individual production.  Some of them decide erroneously that they must do all of the work. Others take a more narcissistic approach and insist on receiving all of the credit.  Michael Maccoby wrote about the pros and cons of "narcissistic leaders" in a Harvard Business Review issue.  In his article, Maccoby related five key weaknesses of narcissistic leaders:

 

• Sensitive to Criticism
• Poor Listeners
• Lack of Empathy
• Distaste for Mentoring
• An Intense Desire to Compete

 

With many old-school leaders still taking the narcissistic approach to leadership, it is understandable why they don’t see the benefits to mentoring.  In fact, they have a “distaste for mentoring” as Maccoby so eloquently states.  They abhor it and see no value in it whatsoever.  In my experience of observing and teaching about leadership, most leaders who negate the value of mentoring either have never experienced the pleasure of a great mentoring relationship or they are unwilling to credit their own success to a mentoring relationship.  The perplexing point for me is how a leader can avoid the promising aspects of mentoring.  Even a narcissist would want to produce exponentially beyond his or her own ability!

 

Mentoring provides this distinct advantage to produce beyond yourself.  When a leader makes it a priority to mentor other people, he can accomplish a lot more.  The leader’s production capability becomes tremendous!  As the leader develops his or her people, they begin to take the initiative to produce.  This kind of leader focuses on developing the production capacity of the people.  In fact, I think there are 3 very important things that the Leader as Mentor does:

 

• Teach (vs. Tell) - Great leaders who understand mentoring teach others the how and why of the tasks they are accomplishing, and they tailor their instruction based on the experience level of the person.

• Develop (vs. Direct) - As a leader, you have to direct the tasks of others, but if you are not developing your people along the way, you will never raise the level of leadership in your organization.  A key question to consider is: Are my people just completing tasks or are they growing in their careers?

• Help (vs. Hoard) - Leaders as mentors seek to help their people pursue their potential.  Instead of hoarding the knowledge, they share their experiences to help people grow faster in their careers.
  

 

As the people grow and develop into leaders, the organization is stronger and more effective, and the leader is able to exceed his or her own production limitations.

 

It is an awesome feeling to share knowledge and wisdom with others and watch them soar!  Leaders who mentor know this feeling all too well!

 

Who has served as a mentor for you?  What is something that a mentor has done for you that has made a positive difference in your life?

The Leader as Coach

 

To provide proper guidance and encouragement, a leader must be willing to provide both positive and constructive feedback.  When I mention the word coaching in one of my workshops, some people automatically assume I am talking about a fluffy term that relates to only providing positive comments.  Believe me, this is not the definition of coaching by any means!

While coaching does involve providing positive feedback, it also involves equipping the person with the right kind of instructive advice that will help the person develop into a true leader.  This means a coach must sometimes provide constructive feedback to an individual.  Many people often mistakenly refer to this as constructive criticism.  Criticism is the act of finding fault with someone or something in an adverse manner.  Criticism cannot be constructive in that its whole intent is to tear down.  Feedback provides an evaluative response with the intent of correcting to achieve a better result.  The intent of constructive feedback is to build up.  The difference is in the words, the tone of voice, the delivery, and the motivation.

 

A narcissistic, command-and-control leader delivers the message and leaves a wake of bodies in his or her path.  A true coach, however, knows how and when to provide the feedback in a way that it is heard, received, understood, and incorporated into the other person’s life.  The coaching leader delivers feedback in order to help a person achieve his or her maximum potential.  

  

 

“As Ralph Waldo Emerson says, “Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great.”

 

Some leaders still rule through fear and intimidation.  Other leaders maintain an attitude of incompetent till proven competent meaning that they subscribe to the “prove me wrong” mentality.  These leaders coach from a viewpoint that their followers are incompetent until they prove this theory wrong.  Both of these coaching methods do not produce a healthy environment and cannot yield long-term results.

 

Leaders who demonstrate an inherit belief in their people will instill the most confidence in their team, produce the most constructive environment, and yield exponential, long-term results.  This type of leader believes in the talent of the follower and coaches them to accomplish their maximum potential.  The leader constantly frames his or her feedback in terms of the follower’s “potential to be” while still holding the follower accountable for results.  This type of leader represents the true essence of coaching.

 

Key Question: What have you found to be successful in coaching and mentoring others?

Strong Enough

 

You must,

You must think I'm strong

To give me what I'm going through.

Well forgive me,

Forgive me if I'm wrong;

But this looks like more than I can do.

On my own.

 

I know I'm not strong enough to be

Everything that I'm supposed to be.

I give up,

I'm not strong enough.

Hands of mercy won't you cover me,

Lord right now I'm asking you to be

Strong enough.

Strong enough,

For the both of us.

     - “Strong Enough” Song by Matthew West

 

In the past week, I have experienced a mix of moments with people that I have invested in.  One person did an incredible job on a final interview, which might lead to a job change and a move halfway across the country.  Another person called me to let me know his wife is getting a biopsy today to discover whether she has cancer.  Yet, another person let me know that his grandfather – a mentor in his life – passed away after battling for his health.  3 different moments.  One seemingly good, yet with some inherent challenges, and 2 difficult moments that challenge us at our core.

 

Unfortunately, we don’t get to choose the moments we go through in life.  We are not in a burrito line ordering the fillings and the wrapper we want to go around those fillings to build the perfect custom burrito.  Yes, we can influence and take action in our lives to make things happen.  But what happens when we are hit with an unexpected moment that cuts to the core of who we are?  A moment that zaps our strength and challenges everything we believe in.

 

I love the lyrics in Matthew West’s song “Strong Enough.”  This song speaks to a feeling I experience when times of trial hit me like a brick wall.  I know from talking to all three people who experienced their moments last week that they have felt weak and unable to handle these moments all by themselves.  I think there are at least three things that can get us through these moments of not feeling strong enough:

 

• Prayer – For me and for all 3 of my friends, faith is the foundation in our lives.  Prayer serves as a means to gain strength and peace through the times that we reach the limit of our human strength and need a supernatural strength that can help us gain peace and comfort in the dark moments.

• Perspective – Sometimes, we lose perspective, or the ability to see the bigger picture, in the midst of a challenging moment.  This loss, in turn, freezes us from thinking clearly and acting accordingly.  While we may never discover the full reality of why something happened, we must gain clarity about its significance and impact in this moment and the moments to come.  I have found these questions to be helpful in a time of trial.

• Persistence – When we don’t feel strong enough to go on, we shrink back and do nothing.  In my life, I have learned that anything meaningful that I have accomplished or experienced always involves challenges.  While reaching the final goal is sweet, I have learned that persevering through a challenging journey leaves a lasting impact on my life.  It refines my character like gold and makes me stronger.

 

I know that I will never reach a point in my life where I will be strong enough to handle the most difficult moments in my life.  And, maybe that’s the point.  What I have learned is that God’s strength is more than strong enough for the both of us.

Here is the full story behind Matthew West's song "Strong Enough":

 

 

 

Our Moments Shape Us

 

“I wouldn’t trade my experiences or change my journey at all.  It’s what has gotten me to where I am and helped shape me into the person I am today.”

 

As I ended the call with a friend and coaching client, I thought about the wisdom of his words.  My mind also went back in time to consider the many moments that he had been through, many of which we had navigated together.  Moments of trial, triumph, and trust.  Many times, we cannot see what is on the other side of a difficult moment.  We only see what we are experiencing and want it to end or transition soon to a brighter day.

 

No one dreams of going through a trial in their life; yet, we know that hard times and occasionally, nightmares, are a part of a person’s journey.  Whether you are an athlete who gets behind in a game or match or a person who is currently facing more severe challenges, here are 3 things that can help you with persevering through your challenge:

 

• Your Journey Shapes You – Every moment shapes you into the person you are and the person you are becoming.  If we had our choice, we would cherish the good and chunk the bad.  Yet, we must learn to embrace and engage in all of our moments if we want to learn from our past and become a complete person.

• Embracing The Moment Is Key – It is easy to embrace and enjoy incredible moments in our life, but who wants to walk up to a disastrous moment and give it a great big hug?  We kick, we scream, and we throw a fist in the air at these types of moments.  While I am not asking you to put your arms around a horrible moment and invite it into the living room of your life, I am challenging you to meet it head on.  Most elite performers that I interview and coach embrace challenges as a part of life and competition.  They gather context, maintain perspective, and then act accordingly to conquer the challenge.

• Character Is Often Developed In Times of Heartache – Helen Keller said, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.  Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”  While I believe that we can grow through times of triumph, many character-building moments can also be experienced through times of trial and suffering.  The point is that we have to be active and engaged.  We can’t just sit back in a recliner expecting things to happen in our lives.  And it is through this activity that moments will occur – both good and bad – that helps us grow in character.

 

Perspective is gained on the other side of the pothole.  Looking back often allows us to look forward with renewed confidence and resolve.  Embrace the moments in your life knowing that they will shape you into becoming a better person.

 

What about you?  Would you trade your experiences or change your journey?  How have your experiences shaped you into the person you are today?    

Spinach on Your Teeth

Do you have a piece of spinach on your front teeth? Or maybe some bread crumbs on the side of your mouth?  It’s not that you are a messy eater; the fact remains that no one is perfect.

Have you ever gone to lunch with someone that had this happen to them?  One big strand of spinach right there staring back at you on their front teeth!  The problem was the other person had no idea what was peering at you from the front row.  You are in the middle of telling a story and start to become uneasy as you wish the spinach would just disappear.  Some people are bold and tell them directly about the leafy substance that is causing the distraction.  Others are more subtle, licking their front teeth with their lips hoping the person on the other side will get a clue to do the same.  It becomes impossible to look them in the eye as you finish the story, so you start to gaze all around the room – anywhere except the menacing picture of embarrassment right in front of them.

As you conclude lunch and walk toward the door, possibly feeling some remorse for not telling them about the long leaf on their teeth, the hostess looks at your friend and says, “I’m sorry sir, but you have a piece of spinach on your teeth.”  Your friend angrily turns to you and says, “You saw that the whole time at lunch and didn’t tell me!  I thought you cared about me!”

 

Unfortunately, this type of thing happens all too frequently in businesses, teams, homes, communities, and relationships.  It’s not that people are always walking literally with spinach hanging from the rafters of their mouths.  It’s the figurative spinach that so often lingers and looms in our lives with no one bold enough to offer constructive feedback to help with the problem.  None of us are perfect, and we all need feedback in our lives – both positive and constructive.  Here are 3 ways that we can build accountability in our lives:

• Build relationships with trusted advisors based on truth – Seek out people who have a stake in your life and want the best for you.  If you know someone is on your side and wants you to maximize your potential in every area of your life, you will more readily receive both positive and constructive feedback from them.  You never reach a level in life personally or professionally where you do not need the wise counsel of others. 

• Hold people accountable and surround yourself with accountability partners – If a close colleague or friend has committed to do something or is trying to accomplish a goal, challenge them on a regular basis and encourage them in their journey.  This does not involve playing the accountability judge who thinks they will receive some kind of prize for pointing out all of the specks in everyone else’s eyes but their own. 

• Speak the truth in love – If you genuinely care about your friends and colleagues, you will communicate with them in such a way that the message will be heard, understood, received, and incorporated into their lives.

 

Great mentors pour themselves into the life of other people and communicate feedback to make their mentees better.  Make sure that you have people around you who will tell you when you have spinach on your teeth.

Achieving Your Potential

Are you operating at a level less than your current potential?  Today, I was driving behind a Corvette on the freeway.  Or better said, I was stuck behind him!  A Corvette with a machine capable of super fast speeds was traveling at a speed of 40 miles per hour.  While I did not want the driver to push his car to the max and dust me in his tracks, I at least wanted him to drive the speed limit of 60 miles per hour.  All of that potential and capability drifting along at 20 miles per hour below what he should have been driving!

It made me think of times that I operate at a level below my current potential.  As a father and husband, there are moments when I don't always say the right thing.  As a speaker and coach, there are times when I don't connect with audience or client in a group or one-on-one setting.  As a friend, I wonder if there are times when I become consumed with my own agenda that I miss what someone is saying either verbally or non-verbally and fail to offer an encouraging word to help them in their journey.

What about you?  Are you operating at your potential talent level?  Are you achieving the goals that you are capable of conquering?  Are you pursuing the purpose for your life?  Are you fulfilling the roles that you play in life and using your sphere of influence to impact people in a positive way?

In other words, are your driving the speed limit or puttering along the freeway of life hoping some things may be accomplished and destinations arrived at along the way?  I don't know about you, but I want to make sure I am maximizing my potential.  Here are 3 things that can help you achieve this goal:

• Dedication - You must be sincere and intentional in your purpose and wholly devote yourself to the roles and goals you must achieve.  You cannot travel along half-heartedly; you must be fully devoted to your cause and mission and translate what you do on a daily and weekly basis to this overarching purpose.

• Determination - You must have an "I Will" mindset about life.  The road is not easy, and there will be setbacks along the way.  You should not be surprised by adversity but expect it and respond to it with a will and desire to succeed.  When setbacks occur that tell you you cannot achieve something, you must focus on truths about your talents and the preparation you have done to achieve the outcome you want.

• Discipline - Little things matter, and you must have the discipline to focus on doing the little things every day in order to achieve the outcome you want.  I often tell my athletes that you can't take shots or plays off in a game just because you made a one great play.  Consistency is developed over time by implementing practices and systems in your life that will work for you on a daily basis to stay focused on the target.

 

If you know that you are not achieving your potential, take some time this week to reevaluate why, and then choose a path that will help you take steps toward reaching this goal.  Remember, if you putter along the road of life, you may be holding others up who are counting on you for your leadership!

Key Questions: What are some things that keep you from reaching your potential?  In addition to the ones I mentioned, what are some other success factors that help you achieve your potential?

Kobe Doing Work

Around midnight, he was still in the gym.  For an hour and a half after the game, he took shot after shot after shot.  This was not some student trying to practice harder on his home court to maybe make the varsity squad.  This was someone who a month prior had won the MVP award of the NBA All-Star game and will go down as one of the best players of all time.  This was Kobe Bryant.

Who does that kind of thing?  I realize that he missed a shot late in the game earlier in the night that could have helped the Lakers win, but no one stays late in the opponent’s arena after a loss on the road and continues to practice.  At best, the ones who care usually get on the flight to the next arena and act on what they could have done differently to achieve a different outcome.  Others just go on to the next game never learning and growing in the process.

 

I have always admired Kobe Bryant’s work ethic, his will to win, and the 5 NBA championships that have resulted from his fierceness.  But, this event made me think even harder about how we can apply this kind of dedication, preparation, and perseverance in our own lives in any role that we play.  Consider the following questions and how they might apply to your life:

 

• Do you give up too early when things get hard? – When things become difficult in a relationship, do you check out, give up, and walk out?

• Do you want the ball in your hands when the game is on the line? – As a parent, are you investing in the lives of your children and preparing them for the next stage of life?  As a leader, are you using your platform and sphere of influence to mentor others?  As an athlete, are you embracing pressure and focusing on the opportunity to perform at your best?

• Do you give up on your teammates? – Do you write off people when they let you down, or do you extend grace and mercy knowing that you are not perfect either?

• Do you go the extra mile to become the very best? – Are you doing everything you can to become the best (fill in the blank) you can become?

• Do you have a commitment to lifelong learning and growth? – No matter how talented or successful you are, are you constantly striving to grow, learn, and get better?

• Do you focus on the little things? – Are there times in your life when you go through the motions, or do you place a priority on doing the little things that matter on a consistent basis?

 

John Wooden, one of the greatest coaches to ever live, said, “Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.”

 

In other words, it has little to do with others and has everything to do with you!  Commit to doing the work necessary to achieve the results you want! 

Past Performance

 

“Past performance is no guarantee of future results.”

 

This disclaimer is usually tagged as a footnote to investment literature that touts how great a mutual fund’s returns and performance has been over the past year. I, however, am often called into situations where this quote plays a vital role in helping someone rebound from a period of underperforming below their elite talent level.  It’s amazing to me how the past often haunts us as we dismiss the progress that we have made and selectively frame the pictures of poor performance.

 

For example, many of the golfers that I work with as a peak performance coach are haunted by the past.  Past rounds, past holes, and past shots.  They are seeking perfection, and when they do not hit the perfect shot, doubt often creeps in.  If they are not careful, they begin a pattern of spiraling downward in performance allowing the past shot to dictate their future opportunities for success.  In other words, a bad shot leads to a bad hole which leads to a bad round.  This pattern can also happen to you in the roles you play in life.  For example, how does a woman go from moments of incredible impact in the lives of her children to feeling that she is a horrible mother – just because of one imperfect moment?

 

The key to breaking through this vicious downward spiral is what I call “Recovery Time^©” defined as your ability to respond and rebound from moments you did not expect to happen and move into the next moment.  Using a golfer again as an example, I work with my athletes on thoughts, tools, and techniques that will help them play shot to shot, perform in the current moment, and respond when they miss shots they know they should have made.  Part of this process involves replacing thoughts of fear and doubt with thoughts of truths about them and their talent.

 

We must learn from the past, not live in the past.  The past must be an ally pushing us onward and forward, not an adversary rising up against us at every turn.  Your past may not involve a missed 4-foot putt or a bad round of golf.  Your past may include:

 

• Being laid off at work
• Feeling inadequate as a parent
• Feeling disconnected to your spouse
• Wondering if people even know you exist
• Being rejected over and over again
• Struggling to tap into your talent
• Striving to pursue purpose and meaning in your life

 

Whatever you are going through today, know that you can recover from miserable moments.  It begins with realizing that “past performance is no guarantee of future results.”  Just because you have had a bad past doesn’t mean that you are destined to have a terrible future.

 

If we truly comprehend the meaning of this quote and conquer our doubts of past performance, we will learn to embrace the current moment with arms wide open.  We will understand how opportunity and possibilities are waiting at the door if we will just relinquish the overwhelming memories of times where we did not perform at our best.

 

Strive today to “learn from the past, prepare for the future, and perform in the moment” (quote taken from my book Moments: Making Your Life Count For What Matters Most).

The Journey For Perfection

“I’m just ready to hit the perfect golf shot!”  As I processed this comment from one of my golfers, I sarcastically but respectfully responded, “Well, I’m not holding my breath until you or any of these other elite pro golfers that are out here does that!”

It is a quest that has no end; a journey without a final destination.  We all strive to be perfect at something.  I have seen this trait in a lot of the people I coach across the domains of sports, business, and life.  Elite performers falsely believe that every shot, every word, and every action should be perfect.  And when it is not, they begin to question and doubt their talent.  Sometimes, it lasts only for a split second moment.  Occasionally, it can endure for what seems to be an eternity.

Determination and striving to be our best at something can be a powerful force in our lives.  The notion of perfection, however, very often leads to pressing, which involves increasing the importance of a given moment.  Your life has enough stress and pressure in it without you mistakenly thinking you have to be perfect.  As I tell my golfers, sometimes it’s as simple as getting from point A to point B to point C.

What makes us arrogantly assume that we can be perfect?  Even in Michael Johnson’s greatest race in the 1996 Olympics when he won the gold medal and shattered his own world record – a race many of us would have called the perfect race – he stumbled the first few steps out of the blocks.  Bob Rotella, the guru of sports psychologists, wrote a whole book about this topic entitled Golf is Not a Game of Perfect.  Bill Walsh, the Hall of Fame football coach of the San Francisco 49ers taught his players to strive for perfection knowing that excellence was within their grasp.

Perfection is what we all seek but will never achieve.  We can only hope to strive to do our best moment by moment.  I teach my golfers as well as my other athletes to be outcome-driven and process-focused.  Every one of them is graded and judged by a metric, so we work on developing an inner will and determination to pursue that outcome.  But then, we let it go, and focus on the process to achieve the outcome by:

• Playing shot to shot/moment by moment
• Playing to their strengths
• Recovering well when setbacks occur and things don’t go as planned
• Focusing on the little things that can make a big difference

 

What about you?  Are you striving to achieve something that will never be conquered?  Are you placing unrealistic expectations on yourself?  Are you basing your performance on perceived expectations?

Don’t let the perception of perfection keep you from being the best you can be in every role that you play.  Choose today to focus on the process to achieve the outcome you desire.

 

Enjoy the Journey!

Champions Always See Possibilities

"Champions always see possibilities."

The year was 1987.  Magic Johnson and the Los Angeles Lakers were locked in a classic NBA Championship showdown against Larry Bird and the Boston Celtics.  Seven seconds remained in a pivotal Game 4.  The Lakers were down 106-105, and the home Celtic fans were rabid.  What happened next would become one of the top moments in NBA history.

Magic received the inbounds pass, faked a shot, and drove to the lane against 6'11'' Kevin McHale and his long arms and 7' Robert Parish.  Magic seized the moment and made a hook shot over the fingernails of both Parish and McHale's outstretched hands and arms.  Normally, it was Johnson's teammate, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, who took and made his patented hook shots for the team; not Magic Johnson.  But this was no ordinary moment, and Magic saw an opportunity in the midst of obstacles.

Champions always see possibilities...in every moment, no matter what the circumstances are.  I think there are at least 3 lessons we can learn and apply in any aspect of leadership from this idea demonstrated by Magic Johnson's moment:

 

• Champions see the goal - In the midst of chaos and 2 very tall defenders chasing him, Magic Johnson focused on the target and making the shot.  It was as if he was the only one in the gym.  In life, we must continually focus on the goal we are striving to achieve.  Obstacles, setbacks, and circumcstances will work to daily distract us from accomplishing our goals and reaching our target.  In those moments, we must look past the problems and truly see the end result.

• Champions focus on the process - Magic did not worry about being behind in the score or that the fans were yelling at the top of their lungs against him or that he had to compete against not one, but two of the tallest players on Boston's team.  In other words, Magic did not worry about the circumstances; he focused on the process to achieve the outcome he desired.  He focused on driving strong and putting up the best shot he could in that moment.  In my work with athletes, we call this being "outcome-driven and process-focused."  As a leader, you can choose to worry about the circumstances of your situation or obsess about the outcome you want.  My challenge and encouragement to you is to consider focusing on the process to reach the outcome you want which involves releasing the prison of past circumstances, doing your best in the current moment, and being able to live with the results.

 

• Champions embrace the challenge - Magic said after the game, "I wanted the ball in my hands.  Guys like me and Larry Bird want the ball in our hands for the last shot. That's what we thrive on."  Some people don't want the ball in their hands.  They don't want to have to make the tough decisions.  Your sphere of influence is counting on you to embrace the moment and the challenges that come with being a leader at work, at home, and in your community.  They need you to be engaged, to speak with a confident voice, and to lead courageously no matter what the circumstances are.

 

Your moment may not be hitting a game-winning shot in an NBA championship on a big stage.  It may be a very private moment where you are faced with the decision to lead your family courageously and victoriously through the perils of this life.  How will you lead?

 

See the goal, focus on the process to achieve it, and embrace the challenge.

Always see possbilities in the midst of your problems!

Consumer vs Owner

We love going to Spring Creek Barbeque!  They know and live their values, provide a great food experience, and exmplify incredible customer service.  When you order your food, they sing – not necessarily in perfect harmony – the food order using words that can only be decoded by a Texas barbeque chef wielding a big knife.  We sometimes order different things on the menu just to see how the words and song change for each order.  They employ many high school students and provide a scholarship program for them.  All of the employees connect to their purpose and fulfill their mission with passion.

 

 

On a recent visit there with my family, I asked one of the high school employees for a to-go box for my leftover brisket and ribs.  She not only complied with my request but also gave me a bag, napkins, and plastic ware knowing that it would help me in carrying my food home.  I only asked for a to-go box, but she went above and beyond the call of duty.  In other words, she took ownership of her job and responsibility for the need I was trying to solve.  I came back amazed and shared this with my boys.   They were not as thrilled as I was about this customer service experience, but they got the point: In order to do things well, we must act like an owner not a consumer.

 

Please add your comments below to this question: When you think about an owner versus a consumer, what comes to mind?  I’ll start:

 

An owner solves a problem; a consumer performs a task.   

Wrong Turns

I sometimes take wrong turns.  It’s not that I don’t have a good sense of direction; I have always been the navigator for family trips beginning at an early age.  I can read maps, and I even have 2 navigation devices available to me in my car – a built-in GPS navigation system and a Google Maps-enabled phone.  Yet, I still have a tendency to take the opposite path to where I ultimately want to go.

The other night, my wife and I were driving to meet some friends for dinner at a new place.  I set the course and diligently followed the instructions of the navigation system.  As we approached our final destination, the GPS waited until the last second to tell us to turn right.  Since we were not Starsky and Hutch driving a Gran Torino to chase down a criminal, I chose not to make a screeching pinpoint turn.  Instead, I drove to the next street and turned right.  By this time, our GPS was very confused, told me to turn right again, and then announced with utmost confidence, “You have arrived at your destination.”  My wife saw the picture below and said, “Well, I don’t think we’ll have to wait for a table!”

 

Sometimes, we arrive at an unintended and unexpected destination either through our own choosing or from the circumstances of living in an imperfect and broken world.  In these moments, it is critical that we learn 3 valuable lessons that relate to the highway of life:

 

• Pay Attention to the Road Signs – Many people assume they know where they are going and don’t focus on the signs only to find themselves led astray by their own knowledge.  Signs on the road of life are there for a reason: to guide us to a desired destination.  Signs of life can take many forms including people in our lives, books we may read, messages we may hear.  Don’t ignore the signs that are pointing you in the right direction.

• Make Sure Your Compass is Pointed in the Right Direction – A compass can be drawn off course through magnetic forces.  In life, our compass can be led astray from forces that want to distract us from accomplishing our purpose in life.  For my athletes, it could be an annoying fan.  For the business leaders I coach, it might be mounds of unimportant emails or shortcuts in the business that lead to an integrity breach.  The key is to define your core values and act accordingly.

• Set a Path and Course Correct as Necessary – Develop a plan, follow and execute the plan, and then make course corrections when necessary.

 

For me, my faith provides the compass for me to follow.  It is my choice whether to follow this direction in my life.  My prayer is to follow the one true compass that will never lead me astray.

What are some reasons that people get off track in their lives?

Live Your Life With Excellence

"And when you discover what you will be in your life, set out to do it as if God Almighty called you at this particular moment in history to do it. Don't just set out to do a good job. Set out to do such a good job that the living, the dead or the unborn couldn't do it any better.

If it falls your lot to be a street sweeper, sweep streets like Michelangelo painted pictures, sweep streets like Beethoven composed music, sweep streets like Leontyne Price sings before the Metropolitan Opera. Sweep streets like Shakespeare wrote poetry. Sweep streets so well that all the hosts of Heaven and earth will have to pause and say: Here lived a great street sweeper who swept his job well. If you can't be a pine at the top of the hill, be a shrub in the valley. Be be the best little shrub on the side of the hill.

Be a bush if you can't be a tree. If you can't be a highway, just be a trail. If you can't be a sun, be a star. For it isn't by size that you win or fail. Be the best of whatever you are."

    -    Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. speaking to a group of students at Barratt Junior High School in Philadelphia on October 26, 1967, six months before he was assassinated

There are definitely more high profile quotes and speeches that are attributed to Dr. King, but I have always loved this speech that he gave to a group of Junior High students six months before he was killed.  Can you imagine the impact on these students both on October 26, 1967, as well as the days following his death?  And as we think about our own lives, our sphere of influence, and the opportunities we have been given, I believe there are at least 3 lessons we can draw from his impactful words to this classroom of students:

• You Have A Unique Calling - Dr. King was trying to dramatically impart to these students that they were created for a specific purpose at a specific moment in time and that their lives did indeed matter.  Sometimes, we get into a rut and foolishly believe that calling and gifts are for the special talents, forsaking the opportunity to make an impact right where we are.  Whether on a high profile stage or platform or kneeling by a desk in a schoolroom or waiting in a carpool line to offer a smiling and encouraging face to your child after a day of school, your life does matter, and you have a unique calling and mission to carry out.  If you don't do it, who will?

 

• Carry Out Your Mission With Excellence - Mediocrity is often the norm in school, in business, and in life.  Dr King was trying to impress upon these students the importance of doing your best.  You don't have to have the so-called "best" job to do your best.  Every person plays a role in life.  We are called to perform in that role to the best of our abilities.  Every day, you have the opportunity to leave your mark of excellence on everything you do.  How will you sign your name on today?

 

• Leave A Legacy - In the speech, Dr. King references several people of excellence in their respective professions and then challenges the students to do what they are called to in that same manner of excellence.  Each of the people he speaks about left a legacy, and he exhorts them to leave their own legacy, whether they will be in the limelight or just a street light.  We often falsely believe that the only people who can leave a legacy are the rich and famous who have their names indelibly inked on a building, statue, or plaque.  Each day, we have the opportunity to leave a legacy in the lives of people who matter most to us.  Your legacy can be an invisible hand that permeates and penetrates generations to come.

Strive to be the best wherever you are and in whatever you do.  Your calling is indeed a high calling that demands your life and your commitment!

What other lessons do you draw from this speech and from the life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.? 

 

  

Follow Through

Great shooters follow through on their shot.  It is the final step as they visualize and prepare to knock down a free throw or shot from their favorite spot on the court.  Without follow through, the best intentions fall to the ground just like a bad airball.

So it is in life.  We must follow through on our goals and plans, or they just remain the best-laid plans.  As I consider my goals for this year, my theme is “Follow Through.”  While I would like to believe that I am a high goal achiever and that I help others as a peak performance coach accomplish their goals, there are still some tasks, goals, and dreams that I have not achieved.  One of the main reasons is that I have not followed through on these projects.

 

 

 

 

I believe these six things can help you become a goal achiever versus just being a goal setter and provide the foundation to follow through this year:

• Your Burning Why – My friend Spencer Tillman always encourages me to consider my “burning why.”  In other words, consider why I am alive and why I am doing the things I am doing.  If we do not understand the purpose behind our lives, our calling, and our goals, we will go through the motions never taking ownership of the mark that was intended for us.

 

• Your Level of Commitment – Your level of commitment will determine how successful you are in accomplishing your goals.  Be honest with yourself, and resolve to be committed 100 percent to accomplishing the goals you write down.  Commitment is a tipping point for follow-through.

 

• Your Action Plan – Anyone can set goals, but the most successful people who achieve their goals develop a plan of action to arrive at their destination.  Break down your goals into manageable steps that you can execute on a daily and weekly basis.  Goals are accomplished moment by moment.

 

• Your Ability to Execute – Once your plan is place, execute it.  Many people fall down in the execution of their plans, because they become overwhelmed by the weight of a lofty goal.  Executing manageable steps day by day provides a path to success.   The most successful people that I work with in sports, business, and life don’t obsess about the outcome.  They focus on the process to accomplish their outcomes.

 

• Your Accountability Group – Research shows that the mere act of writing down your goals improves your chances of accomplishing them.  The possibilities increase exponentially when you communicate your goals to a select few and implore them to keep you accountable.

 

• Your Resolve – Goal achievers maintain their resolve to achieve their goals even in the face of adversity, distractions, and interruptions.  Potential transforms into performance through perseverance.

 

Your ability to follow through is the key to effectiveness, success, and impact.  What dream, goal, or project will you follow though on this year?

Moments Challenge

Time passes, but moments never fade away.  They remain in our memory like indelible ink.  Some filled with regret, but hopefully most filled with joy, promise, faith, and impact.  The way we think about moments impacts how we act in a given moment.  If we think moments are in endless supply, we will let some moments pass away, foolishly believing that we can recapture the magic of the moment at a later date.  If believe that moments are fleeting, we will act with a sense of urgency and engage fully in all that the moment has to offer.

 

I wrote my book Moments: Making Your Life Count For What Matters Most to inspire and activate people to fully engage in the life they have been given.  The book is filled with stories that will make you laugh, cry, and think deeply about your lives.  Moments also contains six principles that will help you more fully engage in the moments you have been given and maximize your potential for influence and impact at work, at home, and in your community.  Finally, there are questions throughout the book and a call to action at the end of the book that will help you in your journey.

 

Beginning today, I am offering a special holiday 2-pack for $30.  This discounted offer allows you to buy one for you and for a friend.  If you have already purchased Moments, I deeply appreciate that and hope you will buy the 2-pack for a couple of your friends.  My hope is that this 2-pack will allow you to think differently about your moments in the coming year and join with another person to hold each other accountable to being fully engaged.

 

Our prayer is that 300 people would act on this offer in the next 14 days to get the book into 600 people’s hands to impact an exponential number of people both now and in the moments to come.  Click here to buy the 2-pack and join the Moments community!

 

Here is one person’s experience after reading Moments:

“Moments is the type of book that you never actually finish reading. I keep it on my nightstand and reference it weekly in order to equip myself with the strategies and encouragement to embrace life on a daily basis. Mike presents so many key ideas in a concise, applicable way. Since reading Moments, I have applied Mike’s wisdom to help me get back in the game and have stopped letting false feelings or perceptions prevent me from performing in the moment for my family, friends, and community. Everyone will find something they can apply to improve their quality of life in this book!”

            - Tracy Letzerich

            Danville, CA

Mentoring

“When the learner is ready, the teacher will appear.”

Mentoring is the process of pouring your life into the life of another person.  Mentoring involves a true commitment to care enough about the life of another person to help them reach their hopes, dreams, and aspirations.  A good mentor shares wisdom learned from successes and failures.  A true mentor listens well, shares advice when necessary or prompted, and leads by example.  Sometimes, just being in the presence of your mentor can provide you with the energy and enthusiasm to accomplish your goals, persevere through trials, and conquer your fears.  It is not always what a mentor says but the intensity with which he or she listens that can provide the answers.

 

I remember the last year that I spent with my grandfather provided me with a wealth of inspiration and insight.  At this point in his life, he was trying to persevere through cancer, and his faculties were not as sharp as they once had been.  Just being in his presence, however, brought back the memories of every wise word he had said, every noble deed he had done, and every magnificent moment he had leveraged to listen to my hopes and dreams. 

I thought about the times he took me to meet his friends for coffee.  This regular ritual was a mentoring group before the word was popular.  I was barely old enough to know what coffee was, but he took me along like I was “one of the boys.”  His friends accepted this minor intrusion on their time out of respect for my grandfather.  If he said it was ok, then it must be.

 

I also thought about all of the values that he instilled in me like a hard work ethic, integrity, serving others, humility, authenticity, and a love for God, your family, and other people.  My grandfather did not speak a lot of words during his last year on this earth, but his life and the time I spent in his presence spoke volumes.

 

Who has been a mentor to you?   Who are you mentoring?  Mentoring is the kind of thing that must be paid forward.  During the Thanksgiving holidays, I encourage and challenge you to do two things.  First, reach out in some way to the people who have made an impact in your life – your family, friends, co-workers – and say thanks.  You could even take the time to actually write a note or letter and mail it – something that is not done as much these days given the proliferation of e-mail.  Second, set a goal of serving as a mentor to someone.

 

The funny thing about mentoring is that the mentor many times becomes the true learner.

 

Click on the “Comments” link below to add your mentoring story of how someone has made an impact in your life.   

Questions To Start Your Day

I believe that questions are a powerful way to lead the conversation with others and with yourself.  Here are some questions that can help you begin each day on purpose:

 

• What’s the highest and best use of myself?

• Whom can I serve? 

• Who needs my help? 

•  How can I make a positive difference?  

• What can I read that can help me grow and develop?

• Do I have a teachable spirit?

• Are my eyes open to things unseen?

• Do I know the story of the people around me?

• Who are 3 people that I will encourage?

• Am I fulfilling my purpose?

 

 

These questions and their corresponding answers can provide the direction you need each day to live a purposeful life.  What are some other questions that you have found helpful in your journey?

 

 

Make a Difference

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”

                                    -  Gandhi

 

I’m thinking about making a difference today.  You can too!  And I’m not talking about some pie in the sky “Change the World” mantra that most people forsake out of frustration, because it is impossible for somebody to change the behaviors of six-plus billion people that live in this world.  You can’t change the world, but you can change your world – your sphere of influence.

What if each of us asked this question every day:

How can I make a difference?

 

So many people just go through the motions tackling the tasks of the day without ever wondering how they can make a difference.  Sometimes, they consider a question like, “Am I making a difference?” but the question, and its potentially disappointing answer, quickly disappear as the urgency of the day engulfs their potential for productive self-reflection.

Making a positive impact in the world in which you live requires a different mindset.  It is not hard, but you have to proactively consider 3 things:

• Talent– You have been uniquely created with gifts and talents that were meant to be shared with people in your story.

 

• Time – We all have the same number of hours in a day.  High capacity people are able to maintain focus of their top priorities and maximize their impact.  You can be effective and maximize your moments if you choose to.

 

• Sphere of Influence – Every person who is in your story is there for a reason.  They are beckoning for your influence and impact in their lives.

Making a difference is not a one-time thing; it is a one-life moment! At the end of your life, will they say:

You made a difference!

Highest and Best Use

“What’s the highest and best use of myself?”

It’s a great question to ask coming into the beginning of a week as well as a day, a month, a moment, or any other measure of time that you find meaningful and consequential.  Yet, why don’t more people ask this questions of themselves, and closer to home, why don’t I ask this more often of myself?  And not only do we forget to ask this question, we ask and live out answers to questions that are the exact opposite.

Some people ask the question: “What’s the lowest and worst use of myself?”  Not literally, but the question is revealed in the way they spend their time.  They focus on things and people that don’t really matter while forsaking the tasks and people that matter most in their lives.

Other people ask: “What’s the minimally acceptable and mediocre use of myself?”  What can I do just to get by?  The answer to this question leads to a transactional life.  They work, collect a paycheck, pay the bills, attend events with people, and get up and do it all over again.  In the midst of those moments, they miss the opportunity to be transformational in the lives of others.  They miss the higher purpose of their lives.  They go through the motions confusing activity for progress and impact.

  

We often don’t ask questions, because we don’t want to hear or know the answer, especially when it comes to asking the questions of ourselves.  You and I have a great opportunity to lead the conversation and, thus, lead our lives in a way that reflects its intended purposed and impact.

“What’s the highest and best use of myself?”  Choose today to ask this question of yourself, and then answer it by investing your time on the right tasks with the right people.

Why You Won't Reach Your Goal

 ...And What You Can Do About It!

 

I hate starting a blog with a negative statement!  I am an optimist by nature, so I don’t like hearing the reasons why I can’t do something.  I am also a coach who helps people achieve their goals by focusing on the path to success.  I don’t like to dwell on the reasons why they can’t or won’t reach their dreams.

Having said that, I do think it is important to identify the enemy – the distractions that could hinder someone from reaching their potential and distract them from accomplishing their goals.  In my experience, I have heard and seen many things that keep people confined to the chains of potential – that promising, yet detrimental word which can weigh around your neck like an anchor when you do not reach it and people begin to speak about it in the past tense.  Here are some of the top reasons why people don’t reach their goals:

• They do not specifically define the goal – The goal becomes some nebulous dream that cannot be measured and, therefore, becomes impossible to attain.

• They do not develop an action plan to achieve the goal – Many people go through a goal setting exercise, but they never create a tangible plan to achieve the goal.

• They confuse activity with progress – They go through the motions or remain busy, but their work is not productive in terms of making any kind of progress toward the goal.

• They do not “own it” – In other words, they identify a goal, but they do not take ownership of the process to reach the outcome.  They allow circumstances and excuses to invade the path to success.

• They do not commit to it – They desire the outcome, but they do not do everything they can to reach it.

• They do not schedule the time – They do not make it a priority on their schedule.

• They allow distractions of fear and doubt to invade the space of performance.

 

There may be other reasons why people don’t reach their goals, but this list rises to the top for me.  You won’t reach your goal because of these distractions.  Or, will you?  Having defined the enemy, here’s a list of steps that will propel you to reaching your goal:

• Define the goal using the SMART acronym (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Results-oriented, Timelined).

• Develop an action plan to achieve the goal.

• Make each day a day of purpose, working on things that will advance the ball toward your goal.  Ask the question: “What’s the highest and best use of myself?” and then do it!

• Own the goal – Make it YOUR goal, not someone else’s dream.  Take complete responsibility for the outcome, and live by the mantra: “No excuses, no regrets!”

• Commit to the goal – Give it everything you have!

• Schedule time for activities that will help you advance the ball toward your goal.  Plan weekly, execute daily.

• Replace, not repress – Use this peak performance technique to replace the thoughts of fear, pressure, and doubt with thoughts of belief, trust, and confidence knowing you can and you will achieve your goals.

While we cannot control the outcome of the events in our lives, we can take responsibility for the outcome and do everything we can to achieve the hopes, dreams, and goals of our lives.  How will you answer the call?  How will you respond to the statement: “Here’s why you won’t reach your goals!

Here Goes Part 2

“I don’t want to turn around and wonder what happened.

Never lost and never found are one in the same.”

            - “Here Goes,” Bebo Norman

 

Seize the Moment!  It’s more than just a cliché; it’s a way of life.  Or, at least it should be.  Not in the sense that we are in ultimate control of our lives orchestrating all of the events and activities of our lives and manipulating the responses of others.  As my friend Pete Wilson says in his insightful book Plan B, “The illusion of control is the biggest illusion of all.”  I earnestly believe, however, that there are a lot of people not engaging in the lives they were meant to live.  What does this look like?

 

• A business leader who misses the opportunity to invest in the lives of others.
• A father going through the motions with his kids while the years silently slip by.
• A mother pouring into everyone else and letting herself go until her health finally cries out in a crisis.
• A person who has an idea but never follows through as the dream withers away.

  

We only get one chance at this precious gift called life.  Do we really want to Sleep in the Moment instead of choosing to Seize the Moment?  Every day, people receive thoughts, dreams, ideas and words that they are meant to share with the world.  Unfortunately, some of us never hear and benefit from these thoughts, dreams, ideas, and words.  They never reach their intended audience, because the initiator does not Seize the Moment.  In other words, they don’t follow through because of fear, uncertainty, doubt, expectations of others, and urgent but unimportant distractions.

It’s weird if you think about it.  When we begin a new job, we quickly discern what the key projects are, how we can make an impact to get promoted, and what the leaders we are working with expect of us in our role.  When we think about the much bigger picture of our lives, we struggle with these very same questions.

 

It has been my experience that people who Seize the Moment are not wondering whether they are making a difference or not.  They put 100 percent into all of who they are and everything they do.  They give their best in terms of energy, attitude, effort, and action.

Remember, as Bebo Norman says in his song, “Never lost and never found are one in the same.”  I want to risk it all for the right things.  I want to discover the seemingly hidden gems in precious moments.  I want to live a life with no excuses and no regrets!

What about you?  Is there a project, idea, or goal you have considered and put some thought to but have not been able to plan and do it? What has been the biggest inhibitor to your success?  How can you Seize the Moment?

 

Here Goes

“Never got anywhere by running away.

Never learned anything without a mistake.

Never loved anyone by playing it safe.

It’s a long way down, but I’m here right now… so…”

     - “Here Goes,” Song by Bebo Norman

 

 

Something is waiting for you out there.  In fact, it is waiting for me as well.  The key question is not, “What is it?”  The more relevant question for our lives is, “Will we embrace it and go for it?”

In Bebo Norman’s song “Here Goes,” he challenges us to reach and jump for the thing that so often eludes us – our purpose and daily calling in life.  We become so sidetracked with things, activities, and accomplishments that we forget why we are here and what we were meant to do.  We become comfortably numb.  It is much easier to play it safe than to take a step into the unknown.  It is much easier to try and control the script of our lives rather than to submit to the author and perfecter of our faith. 

Each day you have a choice to embrace the unknown of your day.  The reality is that no matter how well you plan for the events of your day, you don’t know what the moments will always bring.  My encouragement and challenge to you is to connect to the calling of your life by doing the following:

 

• Identify the roles you play – For me, I am a follower of Christ, husband, father, friend, son, entrepreneur, coach, communicator, and board member.  If I don’t realize the roles that I play, I can never expect to fulfill my purpose.

• Define your responsibilities for each role – There are specific responsibilities as well as opportunities that are associated with each of the roles that you and I play.  A responsibility for my role as a husband and father is to provide for my family.  An opportunity is to invest in their character and to help them develop into the people they were meant to be.  Sadly, many people only focus on the duties of the role forsaking the personal imprint and legacy they could leave.

• Discern your strengths and passions – Develop a list of strengths and a list of things you are passionate about.  Invest time in yourself to understand the events and moments of your life so far and what you have learned about yourself as it relates to where you should go next.

• Create a Life Plan and Execute Daily – If you don’t know where you are going, you will be drawn to anything that beckons for your attention.  A life plan keeps you on course and helps you make the best decisions even in the midst of uncertainty.  Through workshops and coaching, I work with people to create a MAP for their future and to develop a compass as a filter for making effective daily and weekly decisions about how they invest their time.  Michael Hyatt has also written a great blog entry on how to create a life plan.

Will you join in the anthem of this song to embrace your destiny?  Will you sing, “Here goes nothing, here goes everything.” with the chorus of your life?  Consider the consequences of not engaging in the moments of your life:

“I don’t want to turn around and wonder what happened.

Never lost and never found are one in the same.” (“Here Goes,” Bebo Norman)